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Am I the only one tired?

I fully realize that I will get blasted for this but I am tired of hearing how there is all this help out there for women so they can keep their baby's. Yes there is TONS of help out there for women to do so but there is tons of help out there to prevent them from becoming pregnant in the first place. What many have actually done is choose to have a child and live off of you & me. I hear so many times that you can keep your baby & get free help but I guess I feel a little different in that if you want to keep your baby then get a job, place to live, etc. In other words, GROW UP and become an adult. I understand that many need help due to circumstances beyond their control which is fine but there are several ways to prevent becoming pregnant in the first place until you can afford a baby and I would rather pay for their birth control then their c-section, WIC, Insurance, home, food, etc.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:00 AM on Jul. 29, 2009 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • I am pregnant with my 3rd child, work full time and receive NO assistance WHAT-SO-EVER, not even WIC. I am financially unable to support this child that was conceived while I was on birth control (nuvaring) So... I made the decision to place it up for adoption. I have had EVERY single one of my friends bash me for my decision and try to tell me that there are all these resources out there for me. IMO, if I am unable to support this child on my own then I have no business raising it! So... I have found it a good, stable family that will have the joy of becoming parents because of this decision that I have made. So OP... i TOTALLY agree with you! Government assistance should NOT be there to help out people that keep producing kids! It is my responsibility to financially support my kids, not the government, so I REFUSE to support any of them on welfare

    Jaydin_Makenna

    Answer by Jaydin_Makenna at 4:13 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • You are 100% right they are so many ways not to get pregnant. AND EVERY I KNOW THAT DID GET PREGNANT WHILE ON BIRTH CONTROL THEY DID NOT TAKE RIGHT OR USE IT RIGHT.
    YOU CAN NOT SKIP THE PILL, YOU NEED TO PUT THE CONDOM ON FIRST BEFORE HE PUTS IT IN, WHEN YOU FIRST START TAKING THE PILL YOU HAVE USE OTHER BIRTH CONTROL TILL IT TAKES IT MAY ONE TO THREE MONTHS.
    ALSO THERE ARE OTHER SEX POSITIONS YOU CAN DO??
    I CAN SEE THE FIRST TIME WITH A YOUNG GIRL, BUT A WOMEN GETTING PREGNANT??
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Wow! I think you might have the wrong section - it is loosly connected to the topic of adoption.

    PortAngeles1969

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 11:14 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Nope right section as I hear so many birth moms against adoption and pushing moms to get free aid.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:23 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • It is interesting that for most until you might need "that aid" it is deemed mis-use and abuse of the system. People are so quick to judge. Yes, I encourage all parents (considering adoption, poor, disenfranchised, marginalized, pick any other term you want) to avail themselves of ALL options to keep their families together.

    I do this for ONE simple reason - the child. If there are no safety concerns for the child then yes, I think that it is a far better solution for us taxpayers to help out that child from unnecessary removal from his family.

    Ever heard of love thy neighbor as thyself? Maybe if you look through the eyes of the child insstead of condeming the mother it would be different?

    And no, I have never availed myself of the systems that are "out there". But when my neice was born severely handicapped I sure was thankful for what was there for her so that she could remain in her family home.
    PortAngeles1969

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 12:31 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Besides, if a woman relinquishes then she isn't "...choos(ing) to have a child and live off of you & me".

    Oh, but maybe you are extending the term "birth mothers" to all those that have ever considered adoption and then instead chose to parent? In that case.....this question really isn't in the appropriate section at all for those children were NOT adopted.

    And for those of us that did relinquish, there are cases where the adoptive parents themselves ended up needing that support and aid to care for the children we placed with them. Would you deny an adoptive family that support? Would you rail against them for their choice to bring a child into their home and then "live off of you and me"?

    Really.........goodness what have we stooped to today?
    PortAngeles1969

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 12:40 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • You are making some huge assumptions with your comments. I routinely advise pregnant women to check into all available resources to parent before deciding on the adoption option, and I too will continue to do that. But, by no means does that mean that I am telling anyone to just get on welfare, give up on life and stay in that mode forever. It astounds me that you have the idea that ANYONE would advise that. There are many resources available to help moms parent other than welfare.

    And yes, I agree that if a person wants to parent that they need to grow up and be responsible. As for advising women to avoid getting pregnant in the first place, are you aware that over half the pregnancies in the U.S. are unintended? You obviously are not aware that birth control is not always 100% effective. It is easy to just tell women not to get pregnant, but, the fact is unplanned pregnancies have always existed and always will.
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 1:24 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • As for your desire to pay for birth control rather than helping a young mom raise your child, it that is your belief you are entitled to it. I believe in encouraging birth control as well. I do not support abstinence only programs because they do not seem to work.

    However, I personally would prefer to help a young mother parent rather than have my tax monies go to government tax benefits to adopt or other programs that help people adopt newborns.
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 1:29 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • So, i take it that you consider unwed or impoverished mothers not to be human? Unless you are born as an animal or plant, you have human rights (http://www.un.org/en/documents/udhr/index.shtml)

    "Article 25.
    * (1) Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care and necessary social services, and the right to security in the event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age or other lack of livelihood in circumstances beyond his control.
    * (2) Motherhood and childhood are entitled to special care and assistance. All children, whether born in or out of wedlock, shall enjoy the same social protection."

    Billions were given to car companies. Isn't it more important to help families stay together? Even one family is more important than any car company!

    (cont.)
    Momzilla4

    Answer by Momzilla4 at 3:07 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Also, are YOU going to say no to the publicly-funded roads that you drive your car on? The publicly-funded bus or subway you may be riding? The publicly-funded schools and colleges your child will attend? The publicly-funded hospital you might go to when sick? You are implying that impoverished moms live off of YOU --BUT a similar question would be: Why should MY tax money pay for your services??? The same old white men who rail against single moms got government grants and interest-free loans when they returned from serving in the armed forces.

    Helping keep a family together, when they are at their most vulnerable, is compassionate and caring. PLUS did you know that 70% or more of children in foster care are there because of poverty? And government funds expensive programs to get these children adopted. Shouldn't we be ensuring that no child or family is left stranded in poverty to begin with?
    Momzilla4

    Answer by Momzilla4 at 3:12 PM on Jul. 29, 2009