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Haven't talked to my parents for 5yrs due to sexual abuse and other issues, any 1 else been threw this?

i was molested once by both my mom and dad when i was 10. I hid it until I was about 24. My dad would go off and on drugs and when he was high he would take me in the bedroom and tell me his discusting sexuall fantasies. he would try to french kiss me and even opened the shower curtain a ccpl times. I finally decided I had enough of being around them and constantly feeling that weight over my head so I wrote them a letter and haven't talked to them since. I have been told by some "church" people that i'm wrong and need to "forgive and let them see their grand kids". " your living your life while your dad is crying every day"!! Pisses me off to hear this! They dont know the hell I went threw or the problems it caused for my marriage and trusting. I do not want my dad around my son (he admitted to me he like s boys) or my baby girl. Anyone else been threw this and how are you dealing with it now? Yes i have had counseling

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:23 AM on Jul. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • u need to stay away from them you faught so hard to get away.. stay away dnt let no sick ppl around ur kids. if they do it too u there own kid they will do it too some1 else. stay away. ur better than me i would have those sick basterds lockd up
    ashley_nick30

    Answer by ashley_nick30 at 11:27 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I haven't been through this and have no clue what I can say other than you know what's best...protect your babies!!! And BTW ... HUGS tO YOU!!! sounds like you could use 1
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • NO,NO,NO do not listen to those people they do not understand the pain. Your kids would be in danger. It is Gods job to forgive not yours and you can tell that to the Church people. They do not get it.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 11:31 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • you rockdon't allow anyone to make you do something you are not ready to do even if they are church ppl. Thank them for their suggestions but it's your life. Even if you forgiveyou don't have to allow your parents into your life. Remember that forgiveness is for YOU to find personal peace not necessarily for them. Your parents knew what they were doing when they harmed you. They knew there would be consequences. The consequences is alienation from you and your children. You are a good person and great mom for protecting your children. Stand your ground. You rock!

    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:48 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I have been there with my father. I ran away from home finally when I was 17, after an attempted suicide that failed when my best friend caught me. Since then I have seen him once. I live far enough away that seeing his grandchildren isn't really an issue since he can't afford to come to me, and I won't go near his house. I have not forgiven, but I have moved on with my life, trying to make healthy decisions for me. If you feel that you need to talk with them and have closure then do so. If you are happy and comfortable with the status quo, then I would leave it alone. The church people do not know what you have gone through, and cannot comprehend the choices you have to make. You know what is best for you, and certainly for your children. I went through years of hell, and cannot imagine letting the monster back into my life. Don't let them judge you- they cannot understand and never will. If you need to talk, msg me.
    Emuu

    Answer by Emuu at 12:34 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I too have been a victim in sexual abuse. I am 38 and have a daughter who is 26 years old. That right I GAVE BIRTH AT AGE 11. It was a relative but not a Parent that did this to me.

    Forgive them, this you must do in your heart so that you can move on. When we trust God this is what we are able to do over a period of time. God doesn't want us to be stupid and place our children in harms way. PROTECT THEM ! tell them what sexual abuse is and how to recognize it, even if you think they are too young they are targets to predators because of their innocence.

    Get a P.O Box and the Grand Parents can send photos and letter, just don't send them any photos, let them know why. Allow the phone calls on special occasions, when the children want to know why just explain.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • IF U DON'T WANT CONTACT WITH THEM THEN DONT!! If those ppl wn't leave u alone about it, then tell them if they can't respect your decision, then u have no choice but to find support from different people. Forgiveness does not mean you have to leave your door wide open to let them in. Your kids will be fine w/out grandparents that may hurt them. Even if they did nothing physicaly, they could hurt them because they obviously made bad decisions -it's become their mental makeup. I'm glad u got them out of your life....
    ranedare

    Answer by ranedare at 2:11 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

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