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HIGH SCHOOL BULLIES: Whats a mom to do?????

Heres where I really need some help. My daughter is being bullied by a girl in her high school. It started over a boy(big suprise) and has continued for almost 4 years. Im talking 6th grade and now shes a sophomore. It has expanded to include people in classes that dont know either one of them but have heard about it and just want to be involved because they think its funny. Ive been to the principle and the police and theres nothing anyone can do. She even received a threatening message from someone this summer who the police officer said sounded like an adult. I am going nuts trying to help her. She is not backward, takes up for herself, is not a nerd, and is very pretty (not just according to me!). So its not the usual stereotype. She has no friends now because they are sick of the drama. Whats a mom to do?

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Asked by mzbarker2 at 11:41 AM on Jul. 29, 2009 in

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Answers (13)
  • I pretty have gone through the same thing. My only advice to you is to encourage her to get involved in a new group of girls. My daughter is going into 8th grade and she is looking forward to highschool so that she can try out for the dance team or cheerleading, which is something none of the troublemaking girls in her school will be doing. Just try to encourage her to join clubs or teams that these jerks are not doing. I'v also concidered private school for my daughter, which she use to beg me to send her, now she has decided to stay in public school and stand up to these girls. My daughter is also very pretty and not a nerd either. What has also helped her alot was that she worked hard in school, so they put her in an honors class, where a lot of nice kids are, she has made friends with a couple of them.

    Answer by staceynoel at 11:50 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Home school or other. And it is also true that Jerks are not in clubs. They are trying to be cool not smart.

    Answer by gammie at 11:56 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • if it's been going on for 4 yrs and your daughter is depressed and not happy I would transfer her to another school..she has 3 yrs left highschool should be good memories not terrifying ones.

    Answer by mom2twopreemies at 11:59 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Where is the school administration? I thought that all schools had a zero tolerance policy towards bullying.

    Here is some info that may help:

    Answer by rkoloms at 12:51 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I have talked about changing schools.  But the police and myself have come to the conclusions that the problem will just follow her.  Kids all know kids at these other schools so it will just trickle its way there.  And if we did what kind of message does this send.  Not only to her but to the other kids involved. 

    As far as the achools administrators...they have all been notified.  The no tolerance law translates to them they they dont want tohear about it from either side, or they threaten to suspend everyone.  Including the one being bullied.  So much for laws to help!


    Answer by mzbarker2 at 2:19 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I'm going to tell you what my sister did, and her 8 year old has been bullied by the same girl for 3 years now and no one in the school system want to do anything about it. She went to talk to a juvenile detective. The detective watched this little girl in the class, he pretended to be a substitute teacher, and he witnessed everything, and the information was taken to court, and the little girl does community service, I think 10 hours a week at a local church. My niece has no problem with her now. So homeschooling is a solution my sister had, but she wanted her daughter to know that it is okay to stand up to this girl and do what is right, running away from it will only make it worse.

    Answer by ambr2006 at 2:37 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Moms the schools do not care about our kids, we all know they come only to collect the checks. WE have to stand up and protect our kids from these half-raised bullies. The law will take care of them if they continues, and give them a criminal record that can impact them forever.

    Answer by ambr2006 at 2:39 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I would one make sure she has a cell phone so she can call for help if she needs it. most schools at that level allow them as long as they are off.. Have her keep a journal of every incident and when it becomes pysical and it will make sure you report it to the autorities and show them her journal that way there is a history of the torment.
    IF it were me thoughi would change schools yeah it might trickle its way to the new school but maybe by the time it did she would have some new good firends to help her get through it!

    Answer by elananme at 3:11 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • You'll need; A button-mounted spy cam, a plain panel van. a digital video recorder and a transmitter and receiver. Give your daughter the button cam and have her record everything for a week or so. Then, use some video editing software to put together a DVD of what she's going through from her perspective. Then, you anonymously mail copies of the DVD to the parents of the girls who are bullying your daughter and include the information that if the bullying behavior does not stop, you will mail a copy to the Juvenile Authority.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:53 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I appreciate the input about the cell phone, Yes she has one although it was stolen during gym class last year ( no help finding it either) so we bought another one! I do like the idea of a journal. We have talked about it before and although the school has record of multiple incidents I do think its a good idea at ths point. Thank you

    Answer by mzbarker2 at 8:20 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

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