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preteen hell!

My daughter is 11, shes already menstruating...has been for several months...well now shes getting major attitude...my husband is too harsh on her...but he says im too soft and give in...to give an example...she got mad at something i asked her to do, and swiped her hand at my vase and it flew across the room (plastic vase and flowers) i grounded her from a field trip shes going on for summer camp tomorrow...but today i gave her a chance to earn it back by doing extra around the house....i just KNOW when my husband gets home from work he is going to be furious with me...is he right? am i too easy? or should he back off...cause i know he would never give her a chance.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Jul. 29, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I think girls this age need extra understanding. They really are going through alot, their hormones are all out of whack, they are extremely moody. I think your approach was good, letting her earn her field trip back. Your dh may not agree, but he has no idea how it is to be a girl at this stage.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 1:25 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • HE SHOULD BACK OFF, WHAT DOES HE KNOW ABOUT HORMONAL WOMEN!! I THINK YOU DID THE RIGHT THING, MENSTRUATION AT ANY AGE FOR THE FIRST TIME IS TRAUMATIC, WOMEN KNOW HOW THAT FEELS LIKE THEY DON'T.
    older

    Answer by older at 1:18 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I totally disagree... You lost this battle with her when you caved in. With kids no matter the circumstances they should follow rules and be respectful of their parents. She's going to know now that when you give out consequences that they can change and she will use you against her Dad. You married him to work as a partnetship, once you let her know you will go against him she will use that to her advantage.. You need to remember that you aren't her friend you're her Mom. GL... BTW, this is JMO...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • You caved in and if I was your husband I would be upset with you too. She took advantage of you. I would have made her do the extra chores and miss the fieldtrip. It doesn't matter if she is menstruating or not, she had to reason to act like she did. Do any of us women get to use our hormones as a reason to make poor choices? I don't think so. Stop backing down because she will walk all over you and when you really need to punish her for something big, you will have nothing to stand on.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 5:14 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I know how you feel b/c my BF & i have had the same situation many times and I've gone against him and it only backfired on me in the sense that when I DID start sticking to it, it was MUCH HARDER b/c they were so used to me being the "EASY PARENT". I  would stick to your punishment b/c the longer you keep giving in, the longer it will take her to learn that with every action, there is either a reward or consequence that comes with it. GL HTH

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:31 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • You have to be careful going back on what you say, It would be one thing to let her off if you don't give her a punishment to begin with or for something small like being in a bad mood but there is no way I would let my daughter off for throwing/ hitting something across the room.

    You should talk to her about her behavior when its that time she has to learn how to deal with those feeling sometime

    Goodluck
    579at23

    Answer by 579at23 at 7:52 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • well i did tell my husband what i did and he wasnt happy but he backed me up...he said since i was the one that made the original punishment im the one to deal with the changes or consequences. we have had a long talk with our daughter about anger...my husband wants to get her a boxing bag...yea...no room for that! we live in a small apt..but i taught her to punch her pillow or go for a walk or a bike ride...lets see if it works!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:13 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

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