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Did your dh/bf/so ask you how many men you have had sex with, and/or did you ask him?

Ok, I was young once...I'm not proud of it but I did things that I regret and was with people I regret...I am not the same person now, I've grown up and would be mortified if my daughter did the things I did, I guess I turned into my mother. Nyway, I was date raped when I was 13, and then that's when I turned into a nightmare and I ended up with being with x amount of guys, and I was honest to my hubby when he asked me (b4 we were married), he was shocked but I was more shocked when he told me how many women he had been with!! btw we both were tested for everything before we got married and thankfully we are both healthy.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:08 PM on Jul. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • We've never discussed it. I was 33 and he was 37 when we started dating; it would be weird if we didn't have pasts.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 2:11 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • My mom and dad often tell me that when a man ask you how many men you were with or how many times you've had sex, he is no good for you, because this is a person who will always try to remind you of your past. If he care for you, the only thing he should be thinking about is whats ahead you, not behind you. It seem to me that he is insecured with himself, so tell him to not worry about the past pretense. there is simply nothing back there that you can fix, it is a thing of the past, and you're moving forward. If he continues to focus on the past, leave him, he's no good for you because he will hold you back from the future. No one should constantly be reminded of their mistakes in the past.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 2:14 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Yep, I think it was on our 1st date-- we were just getting to know each other, asking questions about the other's lives, families....
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 2:15 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Asking about your family is okay, a man should ask questions about your family and friends, BUT when a man get too personal and want to know about your sex life in the past, is way too nosy for me, and he has got to go if it continues. Your past is what it is, "THE PAST", and we all make mistakes, but it should be a thing in the past, she should not have to go into details of occurrences that happend long ago. It sound as if this man is very insecured. You both made mistakes, you both confided to each other about them, now it is time to move on and make sure those past mistakes won't occur again.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 2:24 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • DH asked me after we had been dating for a few weeks. I didn't want to tell him but I was honest and open about it. Then he was honest about his number...and it just really didn't matter at all.
    KennsWifey

    Answer by KennsWifey at 2:24 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • My DH & I were great friends since I was 16. Except he was trying to get in my pants back then. I wouldn't do it, because he was in a relationship then. Before we got married he kept talking about how I wouldn't give it up to anyone. I said funny thing I just didn't give it up to you. I didn't go sleeping around with people, I have had quite a few partners but I didn't sleep with anyone who was in a relationship and I always waited like 2-3 months before sleeping with anyone. So my DH and I just got into the conversation. He was all giddy about telling me his sick past of how many people he had been with, but when I start telling he was like, stop telling me that stuff. LOL... Your past shouldn't matter to your husband though. My husband doesn't use stuff like that on me. And he only cares about who I am today with him.
    suzyb1980

    Answer by suzyb1980 at 2:25 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Yep..we asked each other and we were open and honest about it. We got a good rule for that though. If you don't want to know the answer then don't ask the question...because we are both VERY honest with each other
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 3:05 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I asked my husband on our first date. He freaked out and lied by saying 4 people. After I was pregnant with our first son he came clean and the number went up to 23!!!! I eventually forgave him. As for me...I lost my virginity to him and he is the only guy i've gone all the way with, given a bj or even a hand job.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 4:11 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

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