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Some of you give harmful stupid advice

I saw yesterday that a woman was asking if her dh's rule of sending their dd to bed w/o dinner was a bad punishment. Several people told the mom to sneak food to the child. That's some stupid advice! Among other things, that's showing the girl you can get around rules if you're sneaky, she doesn't have to listen to her father, and her mom has no backbone.

When you do not show a united front, you give the kids mixed signals and relay all sorts of harmful messages. If you don't like the punishment your SO has decided on, then discuss it privately and come to a compromise. Then, and only then, do you tell your kids what the punishment is.... then you follow through. If you go behind SO's back, the kids will learn to play you against one another.

Undermining your SO is no way to have a good marriage nor is it a good way to parent. Both yours and their credibility go out the window.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Jul. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (22)
  • I think there should be a section call RANTS.
    Doodlesrevenge

    Answer by Doodlesrevenge at 2:36 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I agree with you 100%, though I didn't see the post you are referring to. I've seen other posts similar to this though and I had the same exact thought. Very well put I might add.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 2:37 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Thank you for your thoughts, but is there a question?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • hell ya mama.. i agree..
    ArlieBeeMee

    Answer by ArlieBeeMee at 2:38 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Sending a child to bed with no dinner falls under the catagory of child abuse. i would tell my husband thats not an appropriate punishment and if he still does it I woud leave for a while. You are right thou, BOTH parents need to agree whats appropriate discipline.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I would of snuck food to my son then told dh that what he did was wrong and now he gets to go to bed with no dinner..
    MiSs.SmOkEy

    Answer by MiSs.SmOkEy at 2:39 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I agree with Doodlesrevenge! We need a section like that! I also agree with OP .. some of the advice on here is pretty out there... some of these posts need a disclaimer such as "These answers are in no way a substitute for medical care and/or counseling!".
    Emuu

    Answer by Emuu at 2:40 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I couldn't agree with you more. Some people are idiots, and give horrible advice. I once saw a mom tell another to give her 0-12 month baby milk and honey. When I said no to the idea she came back with well obviously not real milk, formula every mom knows that. Ummm how about no honey.
    LolosMom

    Answer by LolosMom at 2:40 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • OP here.... Sorry there was no question. I've just been reading this section for a few days and I've seen some of the stupid advice that's being given and I had to say something about it. How about this...

    Where do some of these moms come up with their stupid advice? ;- )
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:45 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Sending a child to bed without *one* meal is not child abuse. Espically if the meal was offerend and the child refused or did something stupid to get it taken away. Refusing to feed is child abuse, but it depends on the situation.

    PS I agree with OP.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:46 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

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