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I need help with issues with my stepson and my husband?

My husband has told me that the most important person in his life is his son..(from a previous marriage) and we have a 3 month old together, this broke my heart cause I feel like thats all he cares about is his son and doesn;t care about me or our daughter at all and I don't know what to do..we have been married for over a year now and the only thing we fight about is his son...can anyone give me some advice on how to cope with being a stepmother?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:35 PM on Jul. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I really don't know your story so can't offer advice. was he defending his son at the time? maybe he just got defensive
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:54 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • His son was there first. Depending on whether the child's motheris around your hubby maybe his only parent. You left a lot out, that would help us give you advise.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 5:10 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • sorry...no he was not defending his son...we just had a baby together and I had a terrible pregnancy and I thought that we needed some time alone together as a couple with no kids or anything just us...and when the time came for our date he told me now that he doesn't want to leave his son...which of course hurt my feelings since we had been planning this date for like a month..and he also told me that his son comes first before anything or anyone no matter what and the problems in our marriage are not important to him at this time and he will deal with them at a later date.....we get the kid every wed and every other weekend
    Flutterbuggirl

    Answer by Flutterbuggirl at 5:16 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Thats great that he loves his son but he is married to you and needs to spend time with you or your marriage will go nowhere. What exactly happen the day you two were suppose to go out?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:21 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • well we were on vacation with his family...me, him, his son, our daughter, his parents, his brother and his neice and nephew and we had made plans to go out that evening to dinner and movie and a walk on the beach well when it was time to go he said he had changed his mind and that he didn;t want to leave his son because he doesn't get him very much and that the times he has him then thats the most important thing to him and nothing else matters!! Which in return hurt me and my feelings and has made me resent the child because the way Im treated when the child is around.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:32 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Hey i feel for ya! My husband has a 7 year old and together we have a 17 month old and its not so much him but the childs mother keeps referring to thier child together as the number 1 son (we have a son too) she txt things like "when are you coming to see your number 1 son hasnt number 2 had enough of your time" and crap like that which really pisses me off because both sons are as equal and in my mind both number 1's as in his oldest son is his number 1 with his ex and our son is number 1 for us....
    You say he wants to spend his time with his son while he has him which is great but he shouldnt make you feel like you and your daughter are second best! I would just talk to him and tell him it made you feel upset! He probably didnt mean the way it sounded.....:)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:21 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

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