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14 year old daughter and 17 year old son's best friend?

My seventeen year old son cameron, has had this best friend, Matt, since they were about 10 years old. Matt basically lived at our house for 1 year during his parents divorce. He is very close to our family.

Last week, matt came over, and i wasnt suprised at all to see him. He went upstairs, and i thought he was going to camerons room, but an hour later, Cameron walks in the door and i ask him if matt is with him. he looks confused and says he hasnt seen Matt all day. So me and cameron go up to his room to see what matt is doing up there by himself. As we are walking down the hallway, we heard 2 people laughing coming from my 14 year old daughter, Ashelys, room. So me and cameron walk into her room and find her and matt lying on her bed with matt on top of her making out! (they were both fully clothed though) Cameron immidiaely gets up and throws matt off her and punches him in the face! ADDITOINAL DETAILS BELOW!!!

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xxDianaxx

Asked by xxDianaxx at 5:12 PM on Jul. 29, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • Cameron keeps trying to talk to her about it, (well more like yell) but...i dont know if anyone has read my other questions that had to do with cameron but he is kindof a "player". Ashley was just arguing that Cameron is dating his twin sister, chloes best friend. I said that that was different, since they are the same age but she wasnt listening. What should i do? with Ashley and Cameron, Cameron and Matt, and Ashley and Matt?
    xxDianaxx

    Answer by xxDianaxx at 5:15 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I'd just tell them it's not ok for a 14 yo to date a 17 yo. It's also not ok for a boy to walk into your house and go to your daughter's room like that. If they were of an acceptable age to date, their would boundaries and he would not be allowed in her room. Since thy've already crossed that line, I'd say the friend should not be allowed past the family room for now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:23 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • IMHO Matt is too old 4 her, so u need to sit them down and tell them too cool it and if their feelings are still the same in 2 or 3 years maybe they can revisit it. Brothers and sisters will fight and be stubborn, this is something they need to work out on their own. But they do need to talk in a civil way. Cameron and Matt are probably going to not be friends any longer which should help with the ashley thing. Idk. I remember reading something about cameron cheating on ur best friends daughter or something like that in the past. I think. GL with everything.
    gottalovemal

    Answer by gottalovemal at 5:25 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • 14 and 17.... 3 years apart in the same school is going to happen. You need to make realistic "dating" rules for your daughter. No boys in her room for one. Curfews, where she is allowed to go with boys at this age (group dates, movies), what is appropriate physical contact for 14 and the risks of "dating" and older boy. I am sure many of us "made out" with someone our Freshman year of high school.

    In man code sisters are supposed to be off-limits unless you mean business. Looks like Matt found out why by your son punching him in the face. Being friends and a player himself your son probably knows some things about this Cameron guy. Whether it is this friend or someone else you need to keep the focus on your daughter. You cannot protect her from every boy and putting her on lock down will only drive her into more risky behavior. It is a tough topic and tough age... GOOD LUCK!
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 6:03 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • **** ADDITIONAL INFORMATION I just need to get one thing straight: i personally do not have a problem with my daughter dating 17 year old boys, and i dont have a problem with them being in her room alone with her. But the thing is, its THIS guy. Because he is soo much like Cameron, and i love my son to death, but i would never want one of my daughters to date someone like him. And Cameron is more mad about it than i am, he is furious, actually. And thats too bad because Matt is one of his very best friends. Hes like a brother to him
    xxDianaxx

    Answer by xxDianaxx at 6:36 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • If you don't have a problemwith your daughter having a boy in your room, I hope that you have had the banana and condom talk with your daughter. I would also start getting her tested for STDs every six months.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:09 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I hope your not getting bashed for the whole 14 and 17 yo thing. its silly. i find it to be no big deal. but i can understand your concerns for your daughter and concerns that cameron is showing for his sister. maybe you should talk to matt and see if this is a relationship thing or just another make out session. if he really cares for her or not. if he does maybe see if he is willing to change his ways for your daughter..most boys dont but hey there is always exeptions. & for cameron: If i were him i would be mad too. my best friend with my younger sister, its his "job" to take care of her and he prolly feels as though he failed.
    jhutch8267

    Answer by jhutch8267 at 11:55 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • You are in control of your home and your child. It is illegal for children to be more than two years apart. That will cure your little boy problem. He will not like the sound of legal ramifications of continuing to try and seek the company of your daughter.  Of course, also agree you need to obviously speak to your daughter if you haven't already about everything she was doing.  So she understands clearly everything.  She's just fortunate that this young man, didn't "jump" her, if it was easy to get on her, who knows where she's going next.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • My children were not allowed to entertain members of the opposite sex in their bedrooms. Also, their friends were not allowed to simply walk into our home any time they chose to. I think the best thing you could do would be to rewrite the house rules and make sure everyone had a clear understanding of them. I would even go so far as to change some locks on the doors if there were some loose keys.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:09 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Honey you're giving these kids too much freedom. There is no way in hell I would allow a 17 year old to walk into my home and go upstairs. What were you thinking? You need to grow up, then maybe your kids will. YOU are the "CHIEF" of the house, you're sopose to call the shots, it appears that your kids are running the house. I don't care how close this kid is to you and your family, there are limitations and rules he has to follow too, and I would not have had him living with me for a year either. Millions of kids go through divorces in this country. Now I know why our teenage pregnancy rate is high in America.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 11:13 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

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