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Is this normal or does he need councilling?

My 13 yo step-son is an emotional wreck. He CRIES everyday about something. Often uncontrollable things like rain. He constantly complains, is self-centered and stingy. He does not observe personal space standing uncomfortably close to people, cannot handle alone time or silence. He is not at all self-entertained and will constantly bother other family members to not be alone. He has violent temper tantrums where he will punch things if he doesn't get what he wants (like a 4 yo would do). He is really a mama's boy and is affraid of everything. His mom still cuts his meat and doesn't make him do anything for himself so when he is with us he acts like a baby.

The other 13 yo I know are not like this (nor is his younger sister). I think he needs councilling, but his parents think he is fine. Do other 13 yo boys you know behave this way or should I keep telling my husband the kid needs councilling?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:51 PM on Jul. 29, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (12)
  • counseling might help
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 5:55 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • My son is 13 and although he has some behavior issues I would prefer he didn't, they are nothing like you describe with your stepson. I also do not see behaviors like this among my son's friends.

    This doesn't sound normal and I would suggest counseling.
    Dyndudes

    Answer by Dyndudes at 9:37 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Your stepson needs to be in counseling now. He needs an evalutaion to find out what is going on. It sounds like he may be depressed among other things. Please get him help, this is not normal and is probably affecting his self esteem.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:50 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I would deff. suggest counseling. It may help him considerable. Maybe you can maybe help him in learning responsibility too. I've never heard of 13 year old acting in such a way but make sure he knows that it is OKAY to cry, be afraid of things, and talk about emotions. too many boys his age go by the "boy code" and it is horrible to think in living in such a way. Look it up if you dont understand you may learn a lot. There are many books about it. For example: Real Boys, & Raising Cain.
    jhutch8267

    Answer by jhutch8267 at 11:46 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • NOT NORMAL AT ALL... All of the above, he is screaming out for attention. Something's not right all the way around.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:33 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Please help this poor unhappy boy.He does need some help with someone who works with teen boys would be best.ASAP would be best before he discovers dangerous ways to feel better.Drugs etc.,There is a reason it is sometimes called self medicating.My heart goes to you .I am glad you are there.Sometimes parents are unable to see what is in their face.It is very hard to realize your child you love is in such pain.
    drfink

    Answer by drfink at 2:40 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • OP here: Thanks ladies for validating my concerns. =(

    Since I am just the evil step mom it is hard to have a say. My DH is so defensive bc he wants to protect his son...and the mom swares he is 100% fine to the point of enabling his odd behavior.

    He is a sweet kid and is obviously crying out for attention. I think he could benefit from councilling since he seems to have anger issues and major insecurity. My husband seems to be seeing glimpses of what I mean, but I have to be careful about how I bring it up as to not cause conflict. I do hope he grows out of the worst of it... and it is possible that he will just always be one of those people that is drama and has to be the center of attention.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:04 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Aspergers Syndrome is my first guess. Look it up on google, those are alot of the symptoms.
    mommyk0106

    Answer by mommyk0106 at 5:54 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I think the child is crying out for comfort and unconditional love. He may have some other problems but when a child is treated like a baby, he is going to behave like a baby. If I were you, I would encourage him to do things for himself, telling him that I will be available to help him if he needs it, but telling him that I believe he can do things for himself. I also suspect that he is very fearful, so I would be reassuring him that he is safe when he is at our house. It might also be helpful to try to find out what he really enjoys doing and spend some one-on-one time with him doing whatever that thing is. I would not be at all surprised if his major problem is not just plain old insecurity. Children who are insecure don't know that's what's wrong with them, so they just act out in whatever way comes naturally to them. So just love him and comfort him to the best of your ability and see what happens.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:04 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • i agree with mommyk0106. i would have him evaluated by a doctor because is sounds more like a medical problem. i know kids that are bi polar also have some of these symptoms.
    mustanggrl74

    Answer by mustanggrl74 at 11:25 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

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