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I think I am going to have an abortion. Does anyone have any advice?

I am 27. Good job, savings, nice condo and car. I have been dating a man for two years, one night we slipped and didn't use a condom so I am pregnant. It's still early, 6-7 weeks I think.

I told him about the situation and advised him we should get married. He doesn't want to marry, says he is too young (he is 27 as well). But, he wants me to have the baby and we will take care of it 50/50. He says he will sign papers saying he is the father and he will get a room in his house, he will get a nurse to come in and help him with the baby. Well, if we don't get married, I do not think it is a good idea to keep the child. I would be so embarrassed to have a child without a husband. My family would be humiliated and my friends will laugh at me and my church will kick me out. So I cannot even have the baby and give it for adoption, since then everyone will know that I slept with a man before marriage.

Please give me some advice.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:59 PM on Jul. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (57)
  • if you do not want to have an abortion then you should NOT get one. you will regret it for the rest of you life. and plus, you may not be able to have anymore kids-emotionally or physically. if your family is so cruel to you NOW then you NEED to get away and move on with you life. You need to have a better life. just like that lil baby inside of you. That baby didnt do anything wrong to deserve to die. Let the baby live. Of course its early and your scared...but every single mother out there will say that things worked out in the end. i am 20. i was really scared in the beginning but things are starting to pan out for me. but you already the advantage of being financially stable. if your friends, family, and church will shun you for what you did they are not ppl that need to be in your life. and also, they will be more hurt that you aborted your baby over THEM. theres more issues that need to be cleared up than having a baby!
    Keeely07

    Answer by Keeely07 at 10:11 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Don't kill a child just because it might "embarrass" you.
    He is doing the right thing.
    Getting married just because you are pregnant is a sure fire way to live in a loveless marriage.

    If you friends laugh at you and your church kicks you out you don't need them anyway. Those are things that are supposed to lift you up when you fall, not grind you down further.
    Cherrie522

    Answer by Cherrie522 at 8:03 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I would be so embarrassed to have a child without a husband. My family would be humiliated and my friends will laugh at me and my church will kick me out. So I cannot even have the baby and give it for adoption, since then everyone will know that I slept with a man before marriage.

    Sorry but those are piss poor excuses to have an abortion, and I seriously doubt your church would kick you out. But hey, it's your body and your choice. Do whatever the hell you want.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 8:04 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • sounds like you already know what you want to do....abort.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 8:05 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Perhaps you could consider adoption. You have a savings. Maybe you could do as was done at one time and "go to another city to care for a sick aunt." if you don't want anyone local to know.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:06 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Sounds Like Drama!
    colesmommy2009

    Answer by colesmommy2009 at 8:06 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Its 2009, not the 1950's many many people have done worse things then have a baby outside of marriage, very rarely will a church kick you out for this, and if they do you need to go to another church, if anything they should be there for you more and show you how to live a more christian life from NOW ON. There are TONS of moms that have no husband, atleast your child will have a father, there are tons of moms whose kids have no fathers at all. If your friends laugh at you then they aren't your friends...get new ones, ones that actually know how to support your friends instead of ridicule them.

    YOU made the choice to have sex before marriage, theres no such thing as slipping and not using a condom, you CHOSE to not use a condom and NOW you are pregnant. Why should your baby die because YOU made bad decisions? How is an abortion better than asking forgiveness for your sins and doing right by your child??
    tabi_cat1023

    Answer by tabi_cat1023 at 8:07 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • THIS GOTTA BE A JOKE! A DUMB 1 AT THAT! I MEAN IM NOT AGAINST ABORTIONS BUT IF U HAVE A GOOD JOB AND HE IS WILL TO TAKE HIS PLACE AS A FATHER THEN U SHOULD BE WORRIED! HOW DUMB DO U SOUND SAYING" MY FRIENDS WILL LAUGH AT ME IF WE ARE NOT MARRIED!"
    tuty2403

    Answer by tuty2403 at 8:07 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Think about that baby! He/She has a right to live. Thats something you should have thought about before your started having sex.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:08 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I smell a troll.
    LuvBug3

    Answer by LuvBug3 at 8:11 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

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