Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is it really helpful, or is it causing more problems?

Is it really better for couples to stay together, for their children, or does it cause more problems in the long run? I just currently ended my relationship of almost 2 years, and wondered if it would have been better to stay together for our son. We do still talk however, so his father is still in the picture, but we're no longer together. What do you guys think?

 
.Brittany.Ann.

Asked by .Brittany.Ann. at 9:16 PM on Jul. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • "It is better to come FROM a broken home, than to live IN one." --Dr. Phil


    I fully believe in this statement.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I think its worse to stay together for the children sometimes you just have to let go and move on to be able to take care of your kids in a healthy way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:19 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I guess it depends on the severity. If you'd ONLY be staying together for the kids, it's not a good relationship and it shouldn't be kept. I think it's worse. Unless you and the other involved are REALLY good actors and never let the negativity between you be seen by the kids I guess. But I don't think that happens.
    jus1jess

    Answer by jus1jess at 9:27 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Staying together for the kids is never a good idea. If both parents are unhappy, fight all the time and disrespect each other, the kids are learning that this is ok and acceptable and it is not.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:56 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • My parents stayed toghether b/c of the kids. They very rarely actually fought -- i could count the times on my fingers. AND WE HATED IT. We wanted them to get divorced and truly feel it would've been better for us and my mom and prob. my dad too.
    I tried staying with my childrens father for a while but quickly realized that the negativitiy was affecting him too, even at a year.
    HOWEVER, my situation was intense and my dad never really wanted to get married. They were toghether for about 18 yrs.
    Sometimes, a break is just a good time reassess. After some of the wierdness/lonliness of being alone fades. Reasess -- how do you feel about being alone? Are you happier/less stressed etc. How do you feel about him? About your relationship? Can you guys work things out??
    I would NEVER suggest just givng up b/c its not working. But at the same time, don't decide to stay for the kids.
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 11:46 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I believe the best parents are happy ones. If you are not happy in your relationship, it is affecting your kids. So it's best to break up for the kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:53 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Kids will feel the tension if you stayed together. They would catch on to it and know that you were both unhappy. Also with kids the only example they have of relationships comes from you and their dad to begin with. If you guys fight and don't hug/kiss or act happy they will think that's what a relationship is supposed to be like. I've always been told that happy parents who show each other that they love each other will show the kids what a loving relationship looks like. Same goes for staying with someone abusive. It would show kids that it's ok. If you're happier without him, and him without you then that's what's best for the kids. My parents tried to stay together just for us, and we could tell they weren't happy. There was lots of tension and we even had to kind of watch what we said around them.
    Hannah22

    Answer by Hannah22 at 10:22 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • me and my husband r trying to stay together for the kids and the both of us and its just not working
    lagurl

    Answer by lagurl at 5:07 PM on Jul. 30, 2009