Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

In need of some real advice re: impending divorce and other woman....

My husband left me for a younger, skinnier girl just out of college. They both live in our old house and 2 years later now have a child. We have been seperated for 2 yrs now and I will divorce him this year. My issue with him is that he has not yet told the girls about their new sibling. Has always denied the relationship and that the girl lived in my old house until I approached him congratulating him on his new "illegitimate" child. He now says he want to visit the girls with his mother and may bring the girlfriend and baby with them. I told him "absolutely not" I said he could come with his mom but not the baby until he sits down with his kids and informs them of their brother and just really talks to them. I said I did not think it was in the girls well-being if he told them and introduced them at the same time. Am I wrong???? I don't think I am. I forgot to mention that he hasn't seen his kids for 8 months!!!

Answer Question
 
Bea61273

Asked by Bea61273 at 10:16 PM on Jul. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I completely agree with you. You did'nt say how old YOUR girls are but they should be told by there father that they have a baby brother it's not your place to tell the girls if that's what he thinks your gonna do he should have told them when this "other women" got preggo. GL mommy your a good mommy just in case you needed to hear that.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 10:22 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • You didn't mention their ages. Maybe you should consider what they want.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 10:23 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I agree with you momma, and what and asshole for doing that
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 10:26 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I would put the kids first what do they want. I know you are mad but this isn't about you or him it is about your two kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:44 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • He walked out and betrayed you so it's your rules.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:54 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I agree with you, I think it would be best if he sat your girls down and told them before springing a baby on them and saying oh by theway this is your baby brother. It may be hard for him to explain since they don't even know about the new girlfriend yet. Maybe he should start there.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 10:59 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I guess I forgot to mention that the girls are now 4 and 6 yrs old. The last time they saw their dad was 8 months ago on Christmas day and the girlfriend was pregnant then. His family messed him up as a child and he does not know how to handle situations. Since he hasn't seen them for a long time and has not spoken to them for 2 months I think he should keep his time with them as HIS time with them and sit down with them and talk to them and let them express how they feel about it. It is not my job to do that for him. Did I also forget to tell everyone that he also get a vacation every 6 months and he has NEVER included them on any vacation - it is only about him. I asked him if he could come up for Father's Day breakfast at my daughter's school and he said he could not because he was going on vacation (which he did not go anywhere but stayed home). My brother-in-law went instead. He does not put them first. I have to.
    Bea61273

    Answer by Bea61273 at 11:33 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.