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How do I get my husband to pay more attention to me?

I sometimes feel like I am unattractive anymore or fat... because I'm still carrying baby weight from having my daughter 4 months ago.... I feel really lonely and depressed sometimes because I feel like my husband never wants to be home and/or spend time with me.... I've been rejected a couple times whe I tried to initiate sex.... and he doesn't come on to me as much as I would like... or at least enough to make me feel attractive. I'm only 26... I'm 5'9 and 157lbs... so I know I'm not completely disgusting.... I'm going to the gym as much as possible (between breastfeeding my baby, which is another reason why I feel more functional than sexual)... what can I do to livin up our relationship and get him to notice me. (I tried wearing sexy lingere and waiting for him to come home, but he took forever and his parents dropped by unexpectantly right after he got home so that didn't work). It's not even the sex... i miss him

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:17 PM on Jul. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • don't worry you are not alone, My husband is the same way. (after baby)

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:23 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • op here... so what do you do then?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:28 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • If you can get your husband to pay more attention to you, let me know what you did so I can try it with mine! Our story isn't like yours, but I feel the same way.

    Answer by wyattsmommy626 at 10:30 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • You don't sound fat to me whats so ever, but maybe stop trying to get attention out of him and make yourself feel better and sexy, try fixing your hair how he likes it and sexy makeup, paymore attention to you make yourself feel confident, men love confident women cuz that's sexy to them, I would try that.

    Answer by looovemybabies at 10:33 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Talk to him about it. He is a man and won't get hints you need to tell him how you are feeling. Listen to how he is feeling too. You are a mother now and that might be a bit scary to him. My husband was freaked out about sex after our son was born. He watched my son come out and nearly passed out. He was so worried I was not healed and basically avoided me to avoid sex. I finally asked him what was wrong. He said he was freaked out and didn't want to hurt me. I said I am fine and he better get in bed now or he would get We had sex it was fun. You have to remind him and yourself you are still a sexy woman and not just a milk machine and mommy. Have some fun and again talk to him.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I don't mean to down play your feelings, but you are 4 months post baby. You might be experiencing some postpartum depression. I can say that I know exactly how you feel about not being able to get your husband's attention because I've experienced that before. He needs to be in tune to your feelings and try to cater to your needs. You need to let him know how you feel and talk to him about it. I tried to make my husband see that sex is an emotional thing with women and how rejected and unattractive we feel when they act like they dont notice. He's caught on now and has been more sensitive to my feelings, but I had to let him know just how I felt. You guys need to have open communication about it. You are not even considered overweight for your height and breastfeeding will help you to lose some of that extra weight anyway. Good luck with everything.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:54 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

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