Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

If your DD was rapped would you tell her she deserves it?

She is 14 and is not the best teenager and goes to partys where there is drugs. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time ( this is what her mom said) ( the man was in his 40s). This is not me because I would hunt down the MF and beat him and chop his balls off. I just dont understand parents sometimes. Personlly the mom is sick to say this to her DD. THIS IS NOT A BASHING QUESTION!!!!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:58 AM on Jul. 30, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (19)
  • No matter where your at, or what your wearing, NO means NO. No one deserves to be raped, whether she was leading him on or not. If her own mother said she deserves it then there is something wrong with her mother. And I'm sorry that a 14 year old girl was abused and cant even find support and comfort from her own mother.

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 4:02 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • no1 deserves to be raped.if one of my friends said that i would of slapped them and told hem you know how traumatizing that is to soome1.no1 asks or wants to be violated so for her to say that i would of went off.i agree with you i would of hunted the bastard down.i would still be looking to be honest.

    Answer by Desi2Sweet at 4:28 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I wouldn't be as heartless as to say that she deserved it, but what were the odds of her getting raped if she was where she was suposed to be and not getting herself involved with drugs? It sounds as though the daughter took reckless risk's and lost. It's not smart to gamble with what you don't want to lose.
    Of course I would make sure my daughter understood that before she took the risks, and she would still get all my love and sympathy even if she did take the risks. I would never say she deserved it, but I would probably still (without letting her know) feel like part of it was her fault.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:31 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • was she sneaking out and doing all these things? it just seems like the mom knew about it before hand and did nothing to stop her daughter from reckless behavior... i do kind of agree with the anon above me with gambling and taking risks, but i would still be there for my daughter

    Answer by pookipoo at 5:13 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Kids make mistakes, I would tell that mother that it's her fault her daughter was in that situation to begin with, if she had been doing her job as a parent, her daughter would have never been at that party. Her daughter is a victim and her mom is a heartless bitch.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 5:13 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • oh yeah and she should try to get that guy charged for rape! if he's in his 40's he has no business doing it with a 14 year old no matter what!

    Answer by pookipoo at 5:15 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • her mom doesn't deserve a child period. AS stated before no means no. Your style of dress, where your at, who your with is not an exceptable excuse for bad parenting. What happened to her is a crime even "IF" she consented. 17 is still a minor and a 40 year old man knows better. Someone should file even if mom doesn't care.

    Answer by pagirl71 at 7:19 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • How DARE THAT WOMAN BLAME THIS ON HER CHILD!!! RAPE IS NOT THE VICTIMS FAULT! THis mentality make me so angry I dont care where she was or what she was doind rape is never ever the victims fault. I was raped at thirteen and nearly killed, my daughter molested at 5 and someone dared to tell my child that it was her fault. I had to be restrained and the other person actually wanted to call the cops luckily his wife had teh sense to make him let it go. I tried to kill him, my hands were around his throat. and this wasnt even the person who hurt my baby. If I were to ever hear a mother or father blame the victim I would react the same way my child ornot. This is the reason women dont report it often enough. THis is why rapists get away with it so often and why they know they can cause they know most women wont report it. Knock some sense into your friend.

    Answer by elananme at 7:28 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • These are a couple of websites with info for your friend. Let her see it, take her and her daughter to a rape crisis center get them help they both need it. The daughter will never get over it if the mother never understands it wasnt her fault. I spent the last 18 years (almost nineteen) hiding this from my mother and father cause they have this mentality. Luckily though I had enough outside support that iw as able to move on and knew how to help my daughter move on! Please get them help!

    Answer by elananme at 7:31 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • No one should tell that to someone who has been raped. I have been told this basically by my own mother. It is horrible. It caused me to attempt suicide. Please be there for the daughter because she is going through a lot.

    Answer by purpleducky at 8:44 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.