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How can I get him to just freely express his sexual needs...?

Hey, did you marry a virgin and you had already been around? I need help I'm newly married and he was a virgin I was not. Can I just tell him you need to up your sexual game or will that cause problems? I've learned to like crazy sex things and he wants nothing but sex and one way. I'm dying inside. Help.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:55 AM on Jul. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Yes be open with about what you want and need in the bedroom a healthy sex live is important in a marriage.

    Answer by Fordmomma at 11:02 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • did he want to wait till he was married or what?????? i would of been like i want to see how u are in bed before i marry you straight up........and what kind of man isnt down to try new things?????? uuummm maybe he just dont like sex that much and just said he was a virgin????......and he only likes it one way cuz thats the only way he can get off????

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:11 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Yes, I would tell him how you feel and suggest a few things that you like and ask if he has any fantasies.

    My fionce was a virgin when we met... I think he watched A LOT of porn because he is the best I have ever had! lol

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 11:13 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I would be honest, but be gentle. If he was a virgin he may be intimidated by the fact that you weren't. Tell him that you would like to try new things with him to see what he likes and what he doesn't so that you can learn what really pleases him. If you speak to him about in a way that makes it seem like it's about him that might make him feel a little less intimidated. Just reassure him that you love him and that you want to have a healthy love life with him.

    Answer by LaceyAM at 11:23 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • bless your heart. I married a virgin one time. OMG I'll never do that again! lol Ok, all joking aside, what I do with shy men (many virgins are shy about sex) is in a quiet moment I ask them about their fantasies. This may take a couple of times but at some point they do share that and then you go from there.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:47 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I would be gentle in how you tell him. I was a virgin when I married my ex and he had been around. It was intimidating, to say the least. I would talk to him about your fantasies, ask him about his, and guide him in the bedroom. Ask him for what you want - and make sure you explain to him, maybe he's worried that he's not going to be able to do something the way you like it.
    I'm a bottom, and knowing that I took it into consideration when I was dating after my divorce. I think it's great that people can wait, but I also think that you married him knowing that he was a virgin.

    Answer by missanc at 12:54 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • dress up as seven of nine from star trek and wait for him in bed- every virgin i know would tear that up. lmao.

    Answer by spazlilsister at 1:45 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Spazlilsister, I'm dying laughing here, that's hilarious.
    Take your time, OP. Everything need not happen at once; introduce him to your kink one step at a time. It's all going to be good if you guys have a happy, communicative relationship regarding sex.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 2:27 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

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