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I'm a new mom and wonder if I'm making the right decisions around sleep time.

Most of my family are what I consider "old school" with letting your child cry it out. As a person who is trained in psychology, I know more recent research shows that that is not beneficial but CAN BE detrimental to the child by leaving them to feel abandoned. Don't hate me, I know there are a lot of perfectly healthy kids that "cried it out" It's just not what I am comfortable with. My 4 1/2 month old is still waking up every 2 hours and it's killing me. I'm so tired. He sleeps with me. He seems to need it still as he appears scared and screaming when he wakes up by himself. Even in a bassinette right beside my bed. He cries even when he wakes up with me, but it's a different cry. I feed him every time he wakes up.
How can I get him to sleep through the night? Or at least longer...

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Asked by NewMom311 at 12:01 PM on Jul. 30, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (9)
  • Yeah, just like everything and anything you do and eat these days causes cancer. There is always something negative to everything.

    NOW.. I didn't let my son CIO til he was 9 months old, because I thought it was cruel. But once I did it.. I was the best thing for our family.

    Does your baby take a binky? We would just get up and give my son his binky if it fell out and sometimes bounce him back to sleep (itd usually only take minutes if that)

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:08 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • ive started the CIO method at like 7 weeks after he had everything he needed, he would fuss even being rocked and held and swaddled so we just would put him in his crib and check on him. now hes 13 weeks and if he does it now he stops crying as soon as i head to his crib. he has been sleeping thru the night since 10 weeks. i know there are some moms who would say im a horrible parent for doing this but i really could care less he is my son and before i do that i make sure he has everything he needs and i try to soothe him but if nothing works then i let him CIO and he only starts crying when hes tired anyways. now he just fusses a lil bit before sleep and i lay him in his crib and he smiles at me and falls asleep in like 10 mins i would try it if you are comfortable

    Answer by ilovenoah26 at 12:27 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I assume you are breastfeeding if you are co-sleeping? If so, can you just roll over and nurse him and go back to sleep? That is what I always did and got a good amount of sleep. You are doing the right thing and your baby will sleep through the night in his own time. Maybe you could swaddle him, or put a co-sleeper against your bed, so he could have his own space, but still be close. He may wake up when you move. Some babies do.

    Answer by TanyaR1024 at 12:33 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • With my first child I never let him CIO and he still is not a good sleeper 4 years later - still waking up once most nights. I now have a newborn and will be doing things much differently. I have already started teaching him to lie in his bassinet awake while I talk to him so he doesn't think he is alone, when he starts to cry I bend over his bassinet and soothe him by humming to him and placing my hand on his chest and giving him his pacifier when he wants it. You can only do what you are comfortable with, I still don't want my child to CIO for a long period of time but I will be allowing him to cry for a few minutes and longer as he becomes older because teaching a child to soothe themselves I now feel is more beneficial for them in the long run. Take baby steps.

    Answer by 2boys0509 at 12:49 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • my son is 61/2 months old and i have the same problem, i just bought the "no cry sleep solution" book by elizabeth pantley. Its for people do don't wanna let them cio. We've been doing it for abouta week and i hate to jinx myself but i can tell a difference. You should look in to that.

    Answer by kelka24 at 12:53 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I let all of my children learn to soothe themselves to sleep. I don't like the term CIO because it implies that I let them just lay there and scream until they wore themselves out. I put them down to sleep when they were tired/drowsy and we had been cuddling/snuggling after nursing. Occasionally they would fuss for a few minutes, but I never let them cry more than 10 mins without going in to calm them, and I didn't let them "scream." But mild fussing was just their way of getting to sleep. I now have 4 kids ranging in age from 8 months to 12 years old who are all good sleepers. My 8 month old sleeps 11 hours straight through at night and takes 2 2 hour naps/day. He also goes down now without fussing at all, and has been since he was about 4 months old. Being able to get more sleep makes me a better mommy.

    Answer by missanc at 1:02 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • We don't do cry it out, and my 10 month old wakes once a night right now and my 2 year old doesn't wake up. But we had the same thing at around 4 months. We started putting my husband between me and the baby. She woke, rustled, rolled over and went to sleep. She still needed 2-3 night feedings in a 12 hour period, but it was easier. Think about it. If you rolled over and a delicious frosty chocolate milk shake was in your face, you'd want some, right? I know I would.

    Answer by apexmommy at 1:02 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Can I just add for everyone that claims to make sure babies have all they need and then let them cio (and yes, I think 7 weeks is so cruel). Have you considered that babies might need YOU? Or maybe need to be held? The need for human touch is a need, not a luxury.

    Answer by apexmommy at 1:22 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I second what apexmommy said. Believe it or not, babies don't only need a clean diaper and a full belly. Often they just need to be held, and it is JUST as much of a NEED than anything else. To deny them of that is not only cruel, but neglectful. To the OP, I totally feel you. It's rough those first few weeks and sometimes even months, I know. When he sleeps with you instead of the bassinet, where do you have him? My daughter is 6 months old and she still needs me with her to STAY asleep. If she's right next to me or on my chest, she will sleep just fine. If I lay her down before I'm ready for bed, she keeps waking up until I'm there with her. Maybe your son just needs to physically feel that you're there? Good luck, and try not to be discouraged! It WILL get beter =)

    Answer by Busymama07 at 4:49 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

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