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In-laws too involved

I am very thankful my inlaws are involved in my childrens lives, but most the time they are too involved...they take over alot of "first" moments, and they try to control too much, like trying to tell me how to rearrange my daughters room and how to paint it. They are very in your face and do not back down easily, how can I stand up to them without hurting their feelings...I love that they are involved, but they want to take over!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:23 PM on Jul. 30, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • My MIL is the same way, she is currently painting my older kids room and my basement. this is after years of trying to put her off, I finally gave in :). Usually I "take her advice into consideration" and then hope she moves on, if not I decide can I live with it? if yes I might take her up on a few suggestions. If I can't I just say no not at this time. I am not one for the whole "My kids, my house thing" I can find compromise, one day she won't be here and I know I will miss her.
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 12:42 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Let your husband handle it! That's what I do.
    apexmommy

    Answer by apexmommy at 12:50 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Depending on the issue, you might just have to hurt their feelings and let them know you are willing to take the kids away from them if they cannot respect you. You need to nip it in the butt now or the kids may turn to the in laws rather than you for parenting.

    Tell them you don't want to take the kids away from them, but they are *YOUR* kids and *YOU and hubby* need to be the ones taking care of them and making the decisions. They will be hurt, but ideally they will get the message and back off so they can still have a relationship with their grandkids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • You and your husband need to sit them down and tell them that you love it they are hands-on grandparents who love the grandchildren BUT -- YOU are the parents, not them and any decisions concerning your child/ren will be made by YOU not them. They do need to realize they are overstepping boundaries- and need to learn to let go, and let you and your hubby be the parents.
    Good luck
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 2:33 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • tell your husband and let him handle it its his famliy not yours
    lagurl

    Answer by lagurl at 4:59 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • In the interest of family unity, please let your husband handle his parents.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:32 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

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