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saw my exs dad and he acted like he didn't even want to talk to my son (his grandchild) to deal?

I divorced my ex and we have a son together. I have full custody due to mental issues and unstability in his dads life. my exs dad has had my number and mailing address for a long time. He has never called and sent mabey one card. They proclaim to be christians, but I find it hard to believe when you dont even try to see your grandchild. Well, we ran in to grandpa at wal-mart. He just said hi to my son, looked at my baby and I asked if he still had my number. "Yes i have it filed, we've just been so busy" was his response. I felt like yelling "you've been busy for 5 F**N years?" He wouldn't give me his number in the past caiuse he didn't want my ex gettn their number, due to threats. I haven't talked to my ex and have a restraing order on him so they now I wont give out there number. These ppl are SOO busy, yet he has time to be in church plays. I walked out of that store hiding my tears cause I felt so bad for my son. Contin

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:33 PM on Jul. 30, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • con... They were never really a part of his life from the start. I have called them wanting to set up arraingements for them to see him, but I never get a call back. They live only 20 minutes away.
    I cant just show up at there dorr, their the type that wants to know ahead of time. Im not going to push my son on them but if im hurt i can only imagine how much it hurts and will hurt my son in the future. Any advice on how to talk to my son about this? He is 9 yrs old

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I say leave it unless he his family don't let him know how crappy his grandparents are. Let him realize it and he will when he gets older!!

    Answer by ormom1977 at 1:39 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Some grandparents detatch themselves from their grandchildren in these situations. My dad got very close to my nephew and then when my brother divorced, his ex would be very catty and keep my nephew from us whenever she felt like it. When my brother remarried and had his daughters, my dad never got close to them. He didn't want to go through the same thing with my brother's second wife if they divorced so he just kept his distance from the girls.

    I'm not saying that it is okay or that it is right, but it happens. My father has only held my daughter twice in her 2 1/2 years. He hasn't seen her in a year and a half. I don't really mind it that way personally, but I do understand where you are coming from.

    If you ran into him at walmart, he must not live too far from you. Since you don't have his number, you should drop by and just talk to him. Tell him that he doesn't have to worry about you keeping his grandson from him.

    Answer by casperskitty at 1:46 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • ormom, you don't know that they are crappy. They may be feeling a lot of pain too and trying to keep from getting hurt worse.

    I wouldn't care if they wanted notice before you stop by. If they would give you their number you could call in advance. Since you don't have it, you owe it to your son to try.

    Don't just five up. Go to their home. Talk to them. Explain that you just want what is best for your son and that is to have a loving family that cares for him. If they still won't listen or at least explain their distance, then you can be satisfied that you tried. And if your son asks you about it one day you can tell him you tried to talk to them.

    Answer by casperskitty at 1:52 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Seeing you have been trying to force a relationship with the grandparents from your childs birth and nothing has happened, it is obvious that they don't want anything to do with your child and you need to stop. You cannot force someone to be a parent or grandparent. I tried for years with my son's father and grandparents and decided that it wasn't worth my effort to try with people that wanted nothing to do with my child. Do yourself and your child a favor and just stop trying.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 2:47 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • yea they need to try and see him and just because yall broke up does not mean they have to quit talking to u its there grand child to and he needs them just as much as he needs you

    Answer by lagurl at 4:53 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Invite them over for dinner (they have to eat, right?), or go to their church

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:12 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • tyfry is wrong. If I were in your position, I would confront them about it. If you can just get an explanation I think that you can let it go and move on. And you will know what to say to your son one day.

    Answer by casperskitty at 12:12 AM on Jul. 31, 2009

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