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Please, someone tell me what to do

I just had a baby in February, and I'm pregnant again. My baby is only 5 months old and I'm 6 weeks pregnant again. My husband would not let me get on birth control and now I'm in a situation that I am not ready to be in. I'm already exhausted and on the verge of losing my mind from being pregnant and not sleeping because I'm up all night and day with my child. I'm not ready for this and I don't know what to do. My husband even said that he wasn't going to get up at night to help when the next baby is born (due a month after my child turns 1 year). I've been really upset and crying because I just lost 60 lbs after I had my baby, and now I'm going to gain all that weight back, not to mention I was never ok with being pregnant in the first place... my mother lives 500 miles away from me and his mother makes it impossible for either of his other to to respect authority. I can't do this on my own, and idk what to do...


Asked by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Jul. 30, 2009 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • You can do it again. It will be hard but you can do it. And why wouldn't your husband let you get on birth control?? Thats just weird. Your husband helped make these kids, your husband should help take care of them! It is just absurd that he refuses to help after refusing to let you get on BC. Why woudn't he let you!?

    Answer by amy31308 at 3:22 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • maybe u should look at adoption it may be hard but the best thing and there are moms out there that would really love ur baby with all there heart. and u need to tell ur husband if u cant take BC then he cant have sex

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • You need to get out of your controlling relationship!!

    Answer by motherofanaries at 3:27 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • wow...thats tough!! I would stand up to him and tell him that you did NOT get yourself pregnant alone and that he needs to play his role in this or hit the road. It's not fair for you to take all of it. He was ready to have sex and didn't want you on BC so then he needs to step up and be a goddamn father!! BE STRONG!! you can do it. And if he decides that he doesnt want to then pack your stuff and go with your mom. There is nothing wrong with running back to mama when things get tough. You can do it!!

    Answer by jazi1105 at 3:34 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Maybe you should leave your husband and try staying with family that will help you. Nobody has the right to force children on you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • husband would not LET you take birth control
    but will not help with the babies
    he is controling-call an abuse center
    abuse is not just hitting
    abuse is all about control
    look in phone book, get number and call today

    Answer by boredmom44 at 3:38 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I'm so sorry your husband is a jerk. I cannot understand what man thinks it's ok for him to rule his wife that way and assume when he will allow her to be on birth control. What a baboon's ass!

    You need an intervention and soon! Since we are only seeing a glimpse into your life I am gathering there are many more controlling instances where your husband tells you what to do. When it comes to controlling relationships the key thing that the abuser doesn't understand is the victim ALWAYS has a choice. Your choice is to leave if you so choose. You can choose to not live like this.

    You need to figure out what you're willing to put up with and what you can't live without. I have had to go home to my mom when my previous marriage became violent. Home is always a good place to be. You just need to be strong enough to say ENOUGH!! We are here for you and will listen when you need to talk.

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 3:41 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I agree with the PP's.. this is an abusive relationship in a whole different way, but abuse none the less. I was with a guy like this once.. took me to long to realize it, by time I did I had no friends left because of him. Thankfully I found the strength to kick him to the curb. If he's going to help make the babies then he needs to help take care of them. As boredmom44 said, call a center, do what you can to get out of the relationship.. its not going to be good for you or the kids.

    Answer by Skye-Angel at 3:42 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I"m so sorry!!! It really sounds like your husband is controlling and (forgive me) but a plain old jackass!! I'm in a similar situation, and I've resolved to get the F out!!! You CAN do it on your own, there are plenty of resources to help you, you just need to get out there and find all the information you can. YOu obviously have a computer, so look up your state's family services and find a way.

    If you'd like to talk.. I'm going through a lot of the same things you are right now. My daughter is 1 and I am NOT happy to be pregnant again, I was working so hard to get OUT of my relationship. I know lots of things about resources and finding help, so please let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do to help you out!
    Keep faith in yourself, and you can do anything!

    Answer by kristal2146 at 3:50 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I am really sorry that this has happened to you! I know I would probably be just like you are right now if it happened to me. But Being pregnant right now I have realized that it makes you mature alot more than you think you need to and it also helps you grow up. I know you are freaking out but deep down I am sure you know that you can do it. Just keep your head up! You will make it through and you will be happier than ever some day. My Aunt had the same thing happen to her my little cousins are just barely a year apart. One was born April 1st and the other came April 10th the following year.

    As far as not wanting to do it alone...I know how you feel there. Except I am not married or with my baby's daddy and my mom is in Maine and I am in Hawaii. I really am alone in this for the most part. But All you have to do is be strong and think positively. You can do it! We all can! Woman are stronger than men for a reason!

    Answer by Randa09 at 8:55 PM on Jul. 30, 2009