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My neighbors have been swimming in my pool!

She asked last summer if she could bring her kids over to swim. I said OK becuase I was put on the spot and couldn't think of a nice way to say no. Last year they only did it a couple of times, but this year it's been more often. Sometimes she calls and if I'm not home they come over. I've also noticed things moved around so I suspect they may come other times without calling.

I've had a friendly relationship with the family, but I don't really want them coming over for liability reasons. Plus, I feel like our privacy is being invaded.
What's a nice way to ask her to stop without pissing her off?


Asked by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on Jul. 30, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Maybe you should put a lock on the gate that way she can't get in without your permission and when she calls, then say you are busy or have something going on. You don't have to "say" anything. Just take steps to prevent them from coming over whenever they want.

    Answer by lowencope at 3:45 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Tell her that you just spoke with your Insurance Agent and unless she is willing to pay for half of your premium then she is not allowed to come over. Also, get some locks!

    Answer by jenree33 at 3:44 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • omg tell them to stay off your property unless your home.. if they dont listen threaten to bring the cops

    Answer by hottietottie455 at 3:44 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Tell her just that. You're nervous that if something happened to one of their children and got hurt or worse that you're not willing to take that kind of risk. It's ok to say no and your neighbor being a mother should understand that.

    If she scoffs at your suggestion then advise her that your scheduling pool parties for your family and you would really like your family to enjoy the pool that your family put in.

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 3:45 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • tell her that its fine if she calles and comes over but you suspect the kids comming over without asking, dont say that she is in the wrong just say that u suspect the kids of doing it. that way she wont feel on the spot, oh and try to do it alone not with other people around.

    Answer by Marissa87 at 3:47 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I feel for ya. My biggest weakness is I can't say no to people. She was in the wrong to ask you. i would never put someone on the spot like that. I tend to try to drop hints like if you have a pool cover use it when your not using the pool. Or hide the pool toys, or lock the gate.

    Answer by mamamia855 at 3:54 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Tell her for liability reasons it's been advised to you to lock the gate and ask that no one come on the property when you are not home. If she wants to come over when you are home tell her it's just not a good time or tell her the truth that you don't feel comfortable with them coming over when you are not out there, too.

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:56 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Our neighbors did this. We were honest that we liked our privacy and put the pool in for our family. We told them when they were invited and we had a BBQ it was a blast but we wanted time to enjoy our pool with others and just as a family. They were upset the mom more so than the dad. She liked being able to layout while her kids swam.  The kids tried to come over many times we locked the gate and I just told them no. They thought I was mean but my kids really wanted to play other kids too. They finally put their own pool in and the neighbors on the other side of them finally annoyed them and they came and apologized to us. Said they had no realized how annoying it was to have even people you like at your house everyday. We are friends again.


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:17 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • We have the only pool in the area.. Funny how people would just show up.. I'd be nice and say "Oh, if you only had your suits.." And they would just happen to have them on under their clothes. Then we suspected them using it when we were not home.

    I finally told them that we were no longer letting anyone else swim in the pool because someone, we didn't know who, was using it with out asking first.

    Answer by say_tay at 4:30 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Yes, use the liability as the reason. A) it's true that you could be sued should ANYTHING go wrong and B) it's the quickest was to get her to understand and stay away. I'd just say something like "I'm sorry but I have to ask you to not swim in the pool while we aren't here, it's a huge liability for us and we're not comfortable with it. I know it's likely nothing would go wrong, but we have to be careful and I hope you understand."

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 4:53 PM on Jul. 30, 2009