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Is is wrong for my sister to not include me in her wedding party?

My younger sistter is getting married next year. Lately she has been making all of her plans and has not included me in anything including telling me where it's going to be to every last detail. I just found out that she is not having me in her wedding. I was very hurt when I found this out. I was especially hurt when I found out her maid of honor is our cousin that lives 3 states away and she is not close to her at all. The other girls are friends that she trash talks all of the time (one week she likes them and the next she hates them). I also have 2 small children, son is 7 and daughter is 3. I saw her itinerary and she has my daughter as the flower girl and my son is not on anything. Her ring bearer is her friends (one of the girls in wedding)son. I dont think I should let my daughter be in the wedding id my son is also not included. Help what do you all think?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:48 PM on Jul. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • Maybe it's not wrong, but it is understandibly hurtful.

    Answer by lowencope at 3:51 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Well, all I can say is talk to her. You can feel hurt or you can hear her out in why she picked who she did. Its her wedding.

    Answer by JennRN09 at 3:52 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I think it is ok for your dd to be in the wedding and not your son. He will be ok and have fun if you dont make a big deal about it. I think it will hurt your feelings more than your sons, he may not think anything of it. Im sure you are hurt that you arent involoved as well, but I would just go with a positive attitude and be glad you dont have to buy a dress!

    Answer by ria7 at 3:53 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • It's her wedding and let her do it her way. Yes she is making a mistake but don't react selfishly. She'll apologize one day. btw, my dd is getting married labor day and I'm not even invited so it could be worse! lol

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:53 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • YOU'RE being immature-it is HER wedding NOT yous! You can feel hurt but your whole family doesnt have to be in the wedding.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Did she ask your permission for your daughter to be in it? I can see how one child would feel left out and your son may feel like you're not standing up for him if they both can't be in it. It seems that darling sis is being picky, as most brides are, and you need to let her know you are hurt. I'd tell her, IMO, that my baby girl wouldn't be in the wedding and you hope she has a beautiful wedding. Tell her you will attend with your family but it's hurtful to the kids (and you) of choosing evenly.

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 3:56 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Did you piss her off or something?

    Answer by Cherrie522 at 3:56 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • mommy,calm down,its not your wedding,and theres a big mistake all moms make and that is they think if one kid goes the other should too,its wrong,your kid needs to understand that its not always like that thats reality.i think all wedding are like that you always have people you dont truly like its almost fake,ill tell you one thing tho she will regret not having you as her maid of honor because if she ever gets mad at that girl she'll hate her pictures,but also just cause your sister dont mean you have to be part of you two get along? is she way younger? she might just want all young looking girls in her wedding you never know,did you make her part of the your wedding?

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 4:02 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Its okay not to have your son in it but to have your daughter in it. As far as kids go, you can choose whoever you want. She probably has a reason. But I don't understand not picking your sister to be in it. I know this sounds odd, but is your cousin skinnier or prettier than you? I have known people pick their wedding parties to be the 'pretty people' who would make the pictures look good. It makes me sick when people pick others over their family. I wish I had a sister to be in my wedding. Instead my bestfriend was my maid of honor and one of my cousins, my hubbys sister, and one of our mutual friends were the bridesmaids.

    Answer by VintageWife at 4:02 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I didn't have my brothers in my wedding but I had my niece in it. I think you have a right to be hurt. Why don't you ask her why you and your son aren't in the wedding? It is her day.

    Answer by amy31308 at 4:03 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

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