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did anyone feel ungrateful for a gift they received that wasn't on their registry?

I received the diaper genie II because I was induced early and hadn't had a chance to get the diaper pail I wanted (and no one purchased it for my baby shower which is really ok), but now I have this diaper genie and I REALLY want the one I registered for (there's a reason I registered for the items I did). And I feel ungrateful because I know my mom just wanted to be sure I had something I needed (diaper pail).

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finallyamom40

Asked by finallyamom40 at 6:30 PM on Jul. 30, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 3 (24 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • What matters about the gift, and what deserves gratitude, is that the person thought of you and picked out a present and spent money on it. It is OK to have feelings of dismay, perhaps, that you didn't get what you asked for, but people (in general) aren't obligated to give presents, it is done from the heart. Make yourself a present of the item you want. If you can't really do this because your mother would have her feelings hurt, and if you really cannot use the other item, then tell her and ask her if it would be OK if you exchange it or donate it or regift.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 6:39 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • well it wasn't a gift at the shower mom went and bought it while I was in the hospital so we could have it when we came home, again I think that's great she wanted to be sure we had something but I could have done with the garbage can until I could get the diaper pail I registered for. I hate her having spent money on something I really don't want to use (and even though we have used it I continue to put diapers in the garbage can and really don't use the diaper genie - hubby does though).
    finallyamom40

    Answer by finallyamom40 at 6:46 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Oh I see. Then it isn't ingratitude as much as frustration. :) Congratulations on your little one. :)
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 6:51 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I just cry when I think about her getting it for us and me not wanting it, I'm sure some of that is baby blues but I just dont' want her to think I'm ungrateful. I just realized today that we can't take it back so there's money that is wasted if I get the one I DO want.
    finallyamom40

    Answer by finallyamom40 at 6:53 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Moms do that. I feel ungrateful when it comes to my mom a lot. Like for my son's birthday party.... She offered to buy some of the stuff we needed, so I gave her a list. I had "forks" on the list. I told her, please don't get the forks knives and spoons, so what does she do? She buys forks, knives and spoons!! Her reason was because we could use the spoons for coffee. Problem is, I have a million spoons and knives!!! Its frustrating, and I have been in your shoes!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:59 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • maybe it is frustration, I do know she went to two walmarts looking for the diaper pail I registered for, but didn't find it, which is great but yeah had she asked instead of just going ahead and getting the diaper genie I would have told her not to get anything. But after being induced and having a HORRIBLE birth experience (which I will not repeat so no more babies for us). I just didn't have the energy to go to the store (not to mind I just got released to start driving again this week (nearly 3 weeks later) and exchange it or take it back.
    finallyamom40

    Answer by finallyamom40 at 7:13 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I've definitely been like wow this gift sucks lol. My MIL keeps getting my daughter winnie the pooh stuff, even though I tell her I hate winnie the pooh. Same with minnie mouse etc. And instead of just getting the clothes Im going to actually put on her, she keeps getting her this cheap crappy looking disney shit and saying to DD "mommy doesn't like this but oh well, you do!"
    My daughter is 5 months old lmao..

    Also, I wanted to get a good swing, and playpen. And I had no problem buying them with my own money as they are expensive items.
    So she gets this crappy swing from like the 80s that is so loud, and rickety. and a used playpen that is covered in another babies vomit, and is so ugly.
    And mind you she is a millionaire, literally, she has *millions* of dollars but is still cheap lmao.
    BambiF

    Answer by BambiF at 9:35 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • people never pay attention, to words or a registry. i got a ton of clothes I didnt need for my son like 400 socks, instead of things i needed, and noone bothered to give receipts. Ungrateful? i dont think so. I appreciate getting any gifts at all but i dont see the purpose in all of my hours of registering bc it was a real big waste of time after geting a ton of clothing I am going to try to sell bc half of it isnt even used.
    soveryconfused

    Answer by soveryconfused at 10:01 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • omg yes. I had lots of BFing supplies on there, and someone gave me a formula dispenser? and Bottles and bottle rack and crap??? lol. And some ladies gave me thoughtful, useless gifts, like a silver spoon, a collectible porcelain peter rabbit cup, a porcelain baby bootie, etc, etc.... ugh.
    Kat770

    Answer by Kat770 at 11:07 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

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