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How to deal?

I have been married since feb and everything is good except my husband procrastinates about everything its starting to hurt our relationship and i dont know how to tell him cause i dont want to hurt his feelings any help or advice i would appreciate?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:50 PM on Jul. 30, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • My husband has always done the same thing. I understand what you are talking about. And I didn't want to be a nag, since that wouldn't make him happy. I have learned to be much more patient than I used to be (yoga helped) and I am less of an alpha personality than I was - wanting things done right away. A single gentle reminder ( Dear, the front porch still needs mended.) and then let it drop. If it is something that is vital, then tell him that you know he has been too busy, so you are planning to hire someone. He may actually be considerably relieved to not have to do it after all. Or that may motivate him. I agree with you about not wanting to rock the boat or cause strife. So I changed by being more patient and changing my expectations, and by hiring someone when necessary.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 6:57 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I wonder if he would look at it as "getting it done" on HIS time line, not yours?

    If the procrastination isn't causing major trouble (like not paying a credit card on time, or not getting to work on time, etc.), I'd let it go.

    If it drives you crazy, ask him WHEN he will do something, in other words, nail him down to a specific date and time it will be done.

    If he doesn't do it when he says he will, and continues on that path, he's not a man of his word..and that is a character issue that he won't be coerced, nagged, pleaded, yelled, or threatened out of. He has to WANT to change. He gets something out of procrastination that outweighs what he gets out of completing things on time.
    timelessglass

    Answer by timelessglass at 7:05 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I am a procrastinator and me and my Dh have the opposite problem. I am the way I am and my attitude is if he wants it done "faster" or "in this exact way" then he needs to do it himself. I am not in a hurry to do anything and I never have so its not like I've changed since he and I met. I was even 3wks. late at birth. LOL

    But honestly if I am procratinating about something, its because he "assigned" me to do something I didn't want to do in the first place or I don't agree that needs done. I can get very resentful about it and I do recognize that it is passive aggressiveness on my part. Still he drives me nuts about his details, like I make a call but don't word it right and he wants me to call back! No, if I didn't do it right, you should have done it. Also I have noticed in our relationship that he has reasons something doesn't get done, and in his opinion I have excuses. The double standard drives me nuts. Good Luck.
    Lesli

    Answer by Lesli at 8:20 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

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