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How would you feel if your FIL drinks in front of your kids?

I have a 2.5 yo and a 1 yo. My parents and I are no longer on talking terms. Therefore, my FIL watches my kids. There have been times when I come to get my kids in the middle of the day and my FIL and his friend are sitting there with glasses of wine. I told my DH that I don't like that scenerio especially since I know my parents are finding any reason to piss us off. I am always afraid that my parents will call CPS on my FIL or us or something. My DH told me that he told his dad to stop drinking in front of the kids. However, I caught him doing it again! I am starting to really not like the guy. I am very close to trying to find other forms of child care because I do not like the situation....however, my DH thinks I am overreacting. Am I? What would you do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:50 PM on Jul. 30, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • I wouldn't allow it. Especially if he's babysitting. You don't want him inhibited; what if something happens and he needs to take the kids to the ER? He wouldn't be able to drive.
    allans_girl

    Answer by allans_girl at 6:55 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Depends how much he's drinking... If he's sipping on 1 glass of whine no I would have no issue with that and think you're over reacting. I grew up watching adults drink my entire life no one was ever belligerent in front of me and it had no impact on my life, it never phased me. However if you're talking an entire bottle of whine then thats a different story. People can have 1 glass of whine and still drive, legally at that, children to the hospital.
    ba13ygrl1987

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 7:02 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • If he is the one who is supposed to be watching the kids I would not like it. If he were just over the house for a visit or something then I'd say that it's no big deal. If he won't stop drinking while he's the responsible party for your children then find another care giver.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 7:03 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Drinking while 'on the job' is wrong, but drinking 'in front of the kids' isn't terrible. Therefore, if he's watching the kids: NO. If they're just visiting: YES.
    Llamatron

    Answer by Llamatron at 7:08 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • a glass of wine is not enough to get cps called on oyu. if he was rolling on the floor drunk out of his mond then yes i would worry. CPS knows the difference between having a glass of wine and being drunk
    mamak57

    Answer by mamak57 at 7:14 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • No, if it's just one glass of wine, it wouldn't bother me. My parents watch our kids every once in a while in the evening and they both drink a little. I've never even thought about it. Then again, they drank after work when I was growing up too. There were never any problems. However, if your personal convictions are that you don't want him drinking in front of the children, he should respect that. They are your kids after all!
    Mom3Princess00

    Answer by Mom3Princess00 at 7:27 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • This is fun now. If he can hold his liquor fine. If he's going to act the fool, no.
    milmiracle

    Answer by milmiracle at 7:50 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Okay well I guess it depends on how you view alcohol. In my home, we dont drink. Its not that we think its wrong or anything, we just typically dont like the taste and we werent raised around it. Its kinda foreign to us. So therefore its likely to bother me more than somone who is more familiar with it. Also remember that he is basically working for you. When you go to work, are you allowed to drink? I hope not. I would think that his job would have the same rules or even MORE rules because hes watching your kids. Its simply not appropriate, but if he is doing you a favor, its likely that you wont be able to say anything or tell him what to do. Its his home and his life but you do have the option of placing your kids elsewhere. A lot of times many moms end up having their mother in law, mothers, or grandmothers watching their kids to save on daycare, then get mad at how they do it. If he hasnt heeded your request now, he wont.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:27 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • If he is drinking responsibly, I wouldn't have any problem with it. If he was getting fallen down drunk, I would have a problem with it. CPS will not take your kids because someone is having a glass of wine in front of them. The kids probably don't even know that he is drinking wine. Ease up, mom. If he is watching the kids in his home then there really isn't much you can say other than you prefer that he waits until the kids are gone or to drink responsibly. Sorry.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:52 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • honestly, thats HIS life. why should he have to adjust it differently for YOUR kids?
    evilive

    Answer by evilive at 9:30 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

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