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emotional abuse help

In the beginf our me and my SO realtionship he would say mean thing to me and when i tried to leave he would beat/hit/spit on me and make me stay. Once i got pregnant it stoped and he became the greatest man i could ask for. he really wanted a son and he loves him dearly. I gave birth two weeks ago. I weight 180 when i gave births I am now 150 and he calls me fat and ugly. that really hurts me and i say that he is hurting my feeling but he tells me hes joking. I dont think he is. He doesnt spend any time with me he is always playing games on the xbox or sleeping all day. i want to leave so bad but 1. i have nowhere to go. im not gonna leave my comforable lifestyle to be homeless in some womens shelter bc he says mean things and 2. i dont want to take his son away from him. Im scard to even say anything to him about how he acts towards me bc i dont want the physcial abuse to start again. What can i do to make him <3 me again?


Asked by Anonymous at 7:22 PM on Jul. 30, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I know you say you don't want to go to a women's shelter, but do you really want to have to walk on egg shells for the rest of your life worrying what he'll say or do. It's no way to live, & it only gets worse. I was in an abusive relationship for eight years off & on & I also wanted to make it work cause we have a son together. My son ended up terrified of him. Ask yourself will it be worth it to stay with someone who disrespects you, don't you think you deserve better? A lot of times these shelters can get you housing assistance that you wouldn't be able to recieve any where else. Good luck.

    Answer by luvmyangels3 at 8:58 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • If you don't stand up for yourself and demand respect, your son will learn to treat women and YOU the same way

    Answer by danichaos at 7:24 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • What about your child? have you thought about the baby? If he was abusive to you how do you know he wont do the same to him? Even thou he dosen't beat you anymore, the emotional is still his way of controlling you. You dont have someone you can trust to stay at? PLEASE call the DHS office close to you and get some help. You deserve more and so does the baby. DO it for your baby if not anyone else!!

    Answer by worried546 at 8:00 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • What he does now, your child will be doing to you in the future. And then to some other woman.

    Counseling. Now. Go yourself if he won't go.


    Answer by gdiamante at 8:14 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Seek help immediately! Contact your local DHS, Domestic Violence office or YWCA. Domestic violence is not just physical, it is emotional abuse too. These men are like Jekyl and Hyde, one minute they are fine and the next minute its like a bomb went off in their head. You need to put your mind to getting out of this situation, rebuild your self esteem and move onto a better life with you and your son.

    I know that it is easier said than done, but lots of women-myself included-have made this scary but life changing decision to move on.

    I did not want my children (1 boy and 1 girl) to think that this was a healthy relationship and that men should/could treat women like this (no respect, controlling, name calling, belittling, etc.)

    Please, I beg you, seek help from a professional and get out of this relationship.

    Good luck to you. I wish you all the best.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:27 PM on Jul. 30, 2009