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Should rules be different for your stepkids?

We don't have custody of my stepson but he is still with us 80% of the time. I cook 3 meals a day and usually I will set out two snacks a day too. I even made homemade brownies. On top of that I also babysit a 3 other kids for extra cash since I an a SAHM. My kids clean. They have chores beside just their rooms. I also am very strict about snacks right before dinner. Well my stepson is lazy. He always misses breakfast. He usually wakes up around lunch time and then complains that he wishes I would I made something else. He then starts rummaging through the pantry eating junk. He then goes back to his room. Then when dinner is getting prepared he comes out again trying to eat junk even though I tell him to wait. He ignores me and then ruins his dinner. He is 16. I have a daughter 16 and the two younger ones are 8 and 7. This happens almost everyday. He is rude makes horrible messes and never does his chores.


Asked by Anonymous at 7:39 PM on Jul. 30, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I'd get a lock for my pantry and my fridge 'til the kid realized that he wasn't living at a 24 hour, all-you-can-eat, pig trough.

    Answer by Avarah at 1:34 AM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • No, the rules are the same...the issue is enforcing it with him, that should be dh's job.

    Answer by gramsmom at 7:42 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Talk to his dad about enforcing rules. If he does that the little ones will start to follow him.

    Answer by colesmommy2009 at 7:43 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • IMOyou should put your foot down so to speak. Your rules in Your home should be for everyone... no exceptions.

    Answer by momma_marian at 7:44 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I have 3 stepkids. Mine are younger but all 4 of our kids have the same rules. Then again we have custody of our kids. If he is disrespecting you like that then your husband needs to step in and have a "talk" with him. It doesn't matter who's kid he is he doesn't need to act like that to you or in front of your other kids.

    Answer by angela934 at 7:46 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • No, the rules should be the same. Put your foot down and make sure he abides by the rules. Get your husband on your side.

    Answer by allans_girl at 7:54 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • If you have him 80% of the time then his father should have custody and get child support.

    Answer by GailllAZ at 8:00 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • rules are the same, u should just sit and talk to him and say while you're here you should obey our house rules because the younger ones mimick or will start to mimick your behavior.

    But then again: my step mom and my bio dad tried to impliment rules that my mom never had and they had to adjust because I wasnt rude or anything but they would not let me hang out with my friends or go to sporting events while I was there, and they didnt have any of their own kids so once I realized thats how they operate I didnt go over there anymore because I kept up my grades and did what I needed around the house to be able to do those activities and they didnt respect that so I didnt repsect them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:09 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • The rules are the same. You should talk to your husband and get a little back up in enforcing them. Tell him that if he's going to eat it will be what you set out, not whatever he wants.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:47 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I would not stand for that you are his step mom i guess you need to put your foot down as everyone else says use force wake him up in the morning get mean a little wake him get up and do things around the house don't let him snack hide all the junk food and if you catch him with it take it away tell his dad or your husband how you feel and what you are going to do but i only recommend this if the other suggestions don't work but DON'T LET HIM WALK OVER YOU!!!! He is 16 you are an adult take control over the situation and good luck!!!!

    Answer by newmom183 at 8:57 PM on Jul. 30, 2009