Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do kids need extended family?

Hi, we have just moved countries away from all the family for a better life for us and the kids. My husbands family live about 3hours away from us but my family all live overseas. We wanted the kids to get to know my husbands side of family but that hasnt worked out and the kids dont like them. Iam worried that the only family the kids have is me and my husband are they missing out not having grandparents and aunts and uncles etc?

Answer Question
 
nzpominaus

Asked by nzpominaus at 8:28 PM on Jul. 30, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I want to say yes AND no. Yes because it is nice for them to have blood relatives around them to tell them stories, to rely on in time of need. No, because friends can be just as good as family. The first 5 years of my sons life my brother abandoned the family. It was just me, my son and my mom. My son was just fine. Sometimes extended family can be a big pain in the but ESPECIALLY (which is in my sons case) they don't get along with their cousins.
    Mamasita98

    Answer by Mamasita98 at 8:42 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • An extended family is not needed. As long as your kids have wonderful parents, friends and others around them they will be fine. There are many kids that have nothing to do with their extended family or they don't have any. Don't force a relationship with people your kids are uncomfortable around, it won't help the relationship. Your kids can send letters and emails to your family if they are comfortable with them. Otherwise, I wouldn't worry about it.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:43 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • It's always nice but not always possible. My husband is a Marine and we're thousands of miles away from family. Everytime we go home, he gets spoiled rotten. He's a sweet, happy healthy child.
    allans_girl

    Answer by allans_girl at 9:16 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Id say they dont need them, but itd be VERY nice. Family is always good.
    evilive

    Answer by evilive at 9:20 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I think it is very important to be connected to extended family, but in today's world with the modern communications that we have available to us, it is not as necessary that we live in the same town, although I find that very nice. It is so nice to have aunts, uncles, and grandparents to babysit and cousins with whom to play and have for your closest friends. Perhaps one reason your children don't like your in-laws is that they have not yet had enough opportunity to get to know them and to properly bond with them.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:32 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • They don't NEED them. My husband and I rarely see our family as we live far apart too. It would be nice in a perfect world but these days, you go where the job is. Surround your kids with friends and all will be fine.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 9:33 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Thank you to everyone that replyed. The reason the kids dont like my in laws because my in laws were nasty to the kids and i would never put them in that possition again. I just worry for their social development not having an extened family.
    nzpominaus

    Answer by nzpominaus at 10:57 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • No, extended family is not necessary. My brothers and I did just fine without them.

    However, my parents did build a close network of people we came to regard as family. They met two other couples at church and all had kids around the same time, so we grew up as three families sharing holidays and camping trips together. I see those kids as my cousins and their parents as my aunts and uncles. My church family replaced whatever extended family we weren't in contact with.
    Mousuke

    Answer by Mousuke at 3:49 AM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • I wish I knew.. My kids are in the same boat.. My husband and I got married late in life, our fathers are dead, his mother is self centered and just sends money and sees them twice a year, my mother is in assisted living losing her mind, both my sisters have issues that I don't want my kids around (split personality, adultery, denial of alcohol abuse, etc), my husbands family however aren't really interested in our family.. their kids are grown, my sister in law shows through money, etc.. Very self centered.. the only caring person is my husband's brother who is divorced and lives 4 hours away.. so I worry myself about what would happen if something happened to my husband and I .. very tough, yet there is a reason why it is the way it is.. just reaching out to others like this is comforting.. thank you : )
    NosillaDrab

    Answer by NosillaDrab at 8:34 PM on Aug. 14, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.