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what do i do if my MIL hates me?

2 years ago I got pregnant but it wasn't her son's baby. she has held a grudge on me ever since I started dating him (2 years ago) and its so frustrating. she doesnt want him to screw up in college and she threatens to cut him off financially (yet she wants him to finish? stupid) we want to get married..when he finishes college. but she has made no effort to have a relationship with me. she is horrible to me. she is so snobby. she says she is being a "christian" but she is total opposite of that! she does everything in her power for us not to be together!!! idk what to do..is this ever going to change? and its always up to her how things go. she is so hard headed its unbelievable. its not liek i can just go over there and talk to her. ive tried!! ugh please help. anyone gone thru this?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:53 PM on Jul. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • And also, we are very mature for our age and we could easily just move in together and get married but we would like it if BOTH sides of the family supported us. Only my family does.... :(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • Were you dating her son when you got pregnant w/ another man's baby? Did you keep that child? Honestly, you may never win this one. Just as if you hated your MIL. I'd proceed as if she'll not be in the picture and her son can meet up with her when he wants.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 9:56 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • has her son talked to her....???
    Safirejewl

    Answer by Safirejewl at 9:57 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • well it sounds like he is yet to live his life and his mother only wants whats best for her son , understandble. idk what to tell you you honey is going to have to put down his foot for you and just kill her with kindness treat her son well. time will heal
    mirit.rose

    Answer by mirit.rose at 9:57 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • The 'stupid' comment about her cutting him off financially is probably what did it. No one should have a sense of entitlement. That is business between her and her son, not you.

    Now for your question, if your MIL hates you, well, technically your boyfriend's mother at this point, you should only be respectful and gracious when you are in her presence and basically kill her with kindness. Respect the fact that different people and different families do things differently. And look at it from her perspective, how are you going to feel about the person YOUR child dates?
    prettyrayray

    Answer by prettyrayray at 9:59 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I am sorry you are going through this with her but if I were you try not to be around her just be with your bf and that's that. If for some reason you can not avoid her just be yourself and go with it...whatever she dishes out just go along like nothing. As long as your bf doesn't say anything different about his mother then don't worry about it. Now if he all of a sudden wants to move on with out you then you have to talk to him but from the sounds of it just let her go and ignore her, I guess in her mind she wanted her son to be with someone that is going to have his kids only (which I am sure this will soon happen after you guys get married) Yes she says she is a Christian woman but she is also a human being. Just hang in there it will turn out just right...in your favor that is. Don't be rude to her though just b the sweet person that your are. GL

    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 9:59 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I MIL never approved of our marriage either. Me and my hubby were only supported by my family. His family thought we were to young and stupid and he was joining the military and I worked fast food. They thought I just wanted to marry him for his money. That wasnt true at all. I love my hubby and to this very day I will always love him. We celerbrate 4yrs this Nov. too. She is getting over this pettyness very slowly but she is trying to like me more and more.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:00 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • my MIL is in jail, so though we had problems from the beginning, she sends me letters all the time about how awesome i am.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:00 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • yes he has talked to her many many times. and just today he told her straight up how he feels and what our plans are. and he said that its important for her to have a relationship with me bc we need the love and support from her. shes been a huge conflict in our relationship. i want to have a relationship with her. shes a great woman besides this. even after this talk (they arent finsihed) she still says that she doesnt feel its right for me and her to have a relationship at this time bc he is still in college. isnt that stupid? doesnt even make sense. she thinks he will lose concentration on his school work. yet hes been in a great school for a year now and has done wonderful. ugh...she doesnt know me at all. she hasnt tried to get to know me. she just knows all the bad stuff. and me and him are so great together. :( makes me sad that she is like this
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • to prettyrayray...

    i am SO kind and gracious when i'm in her presence. ive never once disrespected her in her home or anything. and i NEVER EVER told her that it was stupid that she wuld cut him off from school. you kidding me? im not that dumb. this woman is vicious. anyways...i try with her. i really do. ive tried showing her what kind of woman i really am. i guess its just gonna take time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:04 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

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