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my new husband doesn't like my oldest son to much

he told me this shortly after we got married. i thought well they just need to get to know each other better. my oldest can get on your nerves with his negative attitude & know it all. my husband thinks since he is 17 that he should act like & adult & says to my son when my son gets loud at me not to talk to me with that tone. thing is he is talking right back to him with the same tone he was just told not to use. i feel if my husband can't talk with that tone & he is an adult how does he expect my son too. he is not setting the example. i try to talk with him but he gets defensive & can't see what he is doing wrong. i'm fed up & said, i want you to get counseling to understand why you feel this way & how to change his behavior. i don't think i'm asking 4 to much & he says he won't go. i'm pregnant. other then this he is a great husband & step father so divorce isn't an option. how would you feel & what would you do? con't

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:57 AM on Jul. 31, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Oh yeah I wouldn't put up with that crap. He knew your son before you got married right? So if he doesn't like your son (which is a HORRIBLE thing to say to any mother) then maybe he should have decided that before you got married. When you marry someone with kids you pretty much marry the kids too as far as I'm concerned. I would take that VERY personally if my husband said that about my kids. Since your son is an adult in his eyes (and mine too) then maybe he should have adult conversations with him like you said instead of both of them acting immature. Everyone deserves respect. If he wants your son to like him and respect him then he better start treating him the way that he would like to be treated. I respect my 2 year olds and they return it even at their young age. Good luck.. I really hope that this works out for your family before your son doesn't want to talk to you because of him.
    jackiec7707

    Answer by jackiec7707 at 2:07 AM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • i can hardly bring myself to talk with him or even want to see him cause he has hurt me so much cause if he truly loved me he would at least try to go.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 AM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • thing is i have talked with my son and i'm letting him know that my SO is not behaving the way i would expect him too. that i will back him all the way and get my husband to let up on him. so i feel i'm keeping the peace so far between my son and i. he is number 1 over my husband of course. so his feelings are considered above my SO. in fact my son is acting the adult here.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 AM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • I'm sorry to say this but if he is acting less of an adult than your 17 yr old son than he needs to go. And as far as him not liking your son, I would tell him that he should have said and done something about it before he married you. He is pretty much trying to steal all your attention away from your son so he can be center staged. He is immature and needs to be told what's what. If he doesn't straighten up then he needs to be let go. How is he going to act when the new baby get there and you won't have any time for him what so ever?
    Jessie1689

    Answer by Jessie1689 at 3:26 AM on Jul. 31, 2009

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