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Advice please

My daughter has a friend who is very nice but she lives in filth. There are roaches crawling all over their home, there are 6 people crammed into a 2 bedroom house and though they do clean some, it's obviously not enough. The house in infested. My daughter does not want to go over there because of the bugs, and the friend is hurt and doesn't understand why my daughter invites the friend over but won't come to her friend's house. The friend doesn't even notice the bugs anymore. I don't want to force her to go over there if she doesn't want to, but she doesn't want to hurt her friends feelings. Any advice?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:34 AM on Jul. 31, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I know that situation..that was me and my BF growing up, she was so poor, her and her sister, brother, mom and grandpa lived in a one room run down motel that had more roaches then I ever new exsisted, and the only time she got to do anything fun was when my mom took her and paid for it, which was most of the time. Her mom was always fighting them (the roach's) but she never could make a dent in them, once there they are impossible to get rid of.

    Anyhoo...I over time didn't notice it either, I never really spent the night though cause that is when they would come out full force, and my friend spent a large portion of her time at my house also. I don't know how you can approach this so the little girls feeling don't get hurt, that's a hard one!

    If they're old enough maybe some honesty with a little your DD is afraid of the bugs.

    Maybe someone else will have a better idea.

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 12:10 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • Honestly I would call CPS. Roaches carry a lot of chit and it's not healthy. She comes to your house she could bring them with her.. That is sad for her to live like that.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 AM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • I agree with Anon 9:37. Its sad and horrible to do to someone but maybe then they'll clean up!! Its not fair that little girl could get deathly sick and so could your daughter hanging out over there. If they clean up a bit it might ease your daughters fear of going there. Good luck!!

    Answer by Jillybeans24 at 9:44 AM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • Perhaps you can invite her over to your house? I invited a friend who'd just lost her job to come live with me, and she brought bugs with her. It took me almost a year to get them out- and tons of money on professional sprayers! No matter how clean I kept the house it seemed like the little buggers were multiplying like crazy. This may or may not be the case there, and anything you say is most likely going to aggravate the situation. I would just have her play at your house, and tell them you are uncomfortable letting your daughter go anywhere without you.

    Answer by Emuu at 11:00 AM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • Firstly I wouldn't let my child play over there for fear of all kinds of filth related hazards. Secondly Is it an option to speak to the mother? If they are nice people than better to have an embarrassing conversation then to have CPS getting involved or worse heaven forbid ,have a child get seriously ill. Perhaps if your able you could get them a gift of an one time professional cleaning or something.


    Answer by ladykandaline at 6:29 PM on Aug. 5, 2009