Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do I deciced my sons last name?

I am my boyfriend have been together for about 2 years and have been living together. He proposed last Sept 5th and broken it off. the ring always is on my mind and i want to know that we will marry someday and thats what I want. we arent engaged anymore . I wear the band that he gave me and not the ring. I tell people we are engaged, I want the baby to have his last name, but I am so scared if things dont work he will leave and what happens if my sons name is the fathers? I have so lost and confused on what to do! please help

Answer Question

Asked by mommytobe450 at 11:17 AM on Jul. 31, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Same situation i got proposed to june 2008 we are together 2 years we just had a son 2 weeks ago and i ask him casually are we getting married bc i havent heard you say anything about for over a year now and the response i got was yea maybe in like 5 years.. so maybe there is some hope for us, but i dont know. as of our son i gave him his dads last name bc thats just how it should be it helps them find out stuff about thier dads side of the family in the future in case yall sont stay together and he isnt around.

    Answer by ggiovanni at 11:22 AM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • I like having the same last name as my dd. It would be much easier to give your son your name and if you get married then you can change it, If you start with your boyfriends last name it will be really hard to change later, if you can change it at all.

    Answer by ria7 at 11:25 AM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • I gave my first born my last name, I had a rough break up with the sperm donor and never regretted my decision. Now I'm married to a wonderful man, my 2nd child is his and she has his last name, and we're expecting and obviously since we're now married this baby will have his last name. We were not married when I gave my 2nd child his last name but I did it because she was his. My 1st child knows my husband as daddy, and we are soon going to go thru the process of him adopting her so she can have his last name too. I feel a lot better knowing she has my last name for now and not her bio dad's, because she is turning 3 in october and I haven't heard a word from him since her 1st birthday.

    I suppose if you're really sure about this guy, give the baby his last name.

    Answer by tnm786 at 11:29 AM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • My only advice would be for you to not let your feelings for this man color your decision, but ask yourself what you think will be better for the child in the end. A daughter's name will most likely change when/if she gets married, but a son is a namesake. If my oldest had been a boy, I would not have given her my maiden name, as it was his first child and may have been his only. No matter how bad the breakup I wouldn't have deprived him the opportunity of a namesake. However, if you think it would just cause problems, then don't do it.

    Answer by mamapotter at 11:35 AM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • I would the give the baby my last name if I were you, especially if you're going to be the custodial parent. My dd has my last name, and it makes life easier for the both of us.

    Answer by Fallaya at 12:07 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • How will your child feel if this guy is permanently out of your life, but the child has a last name
    different than his mother's? Think of the stigma that society attaches to children without fathers. Give him your last name. If this guy marries you then you could always change the last name to HIS last name.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • I would've given my daughter my husbands last name even if we weren't married because I thought thats how it should be. Now, my maiden name is also my mothers maiden name. She and my father were only dating and not serious. Plus, he demanded a paternity test and pissed her off. He was never around anyway so I never minded having her last name. It was much shorter. lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • If that baby was conceived with love then I believe baby should have his last name.

    So if a child is conceived "without love" then he should have HER last name?? Wow what a dumb statement...

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • the baby should have the last name of the father...regardless

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 12:21 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • i think the baby should have the fathers last name... espically if you 2 are in a active relationship. i have 2 children with my SO we are not married but i gave them both his last name.
    yes its a bit confusing at dr's and such but no differnet than if you give the children your last name and then get married to a different man.. you cant change their last name to the new mans name , more than likley bacuase their FATHER would shit a brick!

    Answer by 2cuteboysrmine at 12:35 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.