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We are getting married in 3 months

and are both over 50. Yesterday, we had our first counseling session with the minister who will perform our marriage (we are to have 3 counseling sessions as required to get married in this church). My fiance was talking to the reverend about his life and 2 times the topic of his ex-wife came up in this conversation. However, both times, my fiance referred to his ex as "HIS WIFE". I mentioned it later and he didn't even remember saying it. It hurt my feelings and I'm wondering if he still isn't over his marriage with her. He was married for 25 years and she left him 3 years ago for another man. Do you think he is ready for marriage to me?

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:23 PM on Jul. 31, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I think an extended engagement could be a potentially helpful thing...

    Answer by hibbingmom at 12:25 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • I agree it sounds like he might not be over her but is trying to move on in his life and it is difficult 25 years is a long time to care for and be with someone in his heart she could always be his wife and he could possible never let go but talk to him about this tell him it hurts you because you are soon to be his wife not her and if he doesn't let her go then its just not meant to be oh and another thing pray a lot because this could just be a trial from god testing to see if you to can stand up to this marriage.

    Answer by newmom183 at 12:30 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • He was married to her for 25 years, it's probably just force of habit to call her his wife. Unless there are other things that make you think he isn't over her, I wouldn't put too much into it.


    Answer by Christina807 at 12:32 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • I agree. It's just a habit of calling her that. In the book Creative Divorce it said that men are ready to remarry 3-5 yrs after the divorce so yeah he's ready

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:48 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • I think you should bring this up in your next counseling session.

    Answer by feesharose at 1:17 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • It sounds like just an old habit to me. But that is based on not knowing any of the dynamics of your relationship.

    Answer by Melindakc at 6:43 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

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