Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Trust ...& there isnt any & im 30 wks pregnant

Ive been with my bf for about 2 years and since last summer we have been trying to become pregnant. Since the day I met my bf at work I knew he was the one. From that day on its been amazing. once we moved in together things changed. I had lied to him about my money and said I was fine and about my old car because I was assamed. Every time he and I would fight he would go stay with his ex gf of 7 years off and on, whom he says they are best friends but he would always go there! Ive always trusted him but it was hard and hurt. We are now 30 weeks prgenant and he wants a praternity test bc he says he has no trust for me. I feel our relationship isnt strong anymore and we fight and bicker, i feel all alone and not special and the preganacy hasnt been what I htought or enjoyable except the fact I am so happy to be a mother. What do or can I do to earn it back or make things beeter before our son is here

Answer Question

Asked by mommytobe450 at 12:37 PM on Jul. 31, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Nothing I had the same problem and it turned into a divorce you have to sit down and talk to him about it but if he is going to his exs house its not worth it i would get rid of him and go to your family for help also you cant start or base a relationship on lie it shows that you didnt trust him first by telling him the truth the most importnant things ins a relationship is trust and respect it sounds like you have niether in this relationship i am sorry to say but you probably wont last long unless you are both willing to work it out. He needs to stop running to his ex you need to be open and honest and find a ways to build trust

    Answer by newmom183 at 12:41 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • so glad you are excited about being a mom
    focus on that
    you can not change him
    and him staying at old gf house - not exceptable
    him wanting dna test - not really exceptable either since he has no reason at all to distrust you
    except maybe because he has been unfaithful with the ex and projecting his actions onto you

    you are going to be a mom and a great one, with or without him
    you did your thing, he if he comes around, that will be him. be strong yourself for you and your baby

    my bf had doubts, not if he was the father but if he wanted to be
    we are good now, but not because i made him, or changed for him

    becoming a parent is scary under the best of circumstances, it may be temporary insanity

    he will make his own decisions, let him do his thing, you take care of you NOT HIM, he is a big boy now, if he blows it with you and your baby, he will someday regret-but it is on his head

    Answer by boredmom44 at 12:53 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • I loved being a single mom. Focus on you and your baby. Figure out what you need to do to survive without him. If he is going back to his ex and you are fighting all the time you are better off without him.

    If you have family try to get their help. There are community resources for pregnant women that need help. They may want to shove religion down your throat but you can take or leave that. If you don't have family you may be able to find friends and other people that will help you. Go to a La Leche League meeting, it's free and you'll meet other pregnant moms or moms with little babies. The Leaders will know about what available in the community.

    Answer by GailllAZ at 1:20 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • You can't worry about someone who could care less about you. I know its hard being pregnant and going through these issues but you have to pick a time to be strong and survive and this is the time...If he wants a paternity test, give it to him...but you cannot make him want you. No matter what you do, what you say, he has to want to be with you. As hard as that sounds, it is reality and once reality sets in, you're more willing to accept the outcome....

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:54 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.