Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I dont know what to do!

My husband and I are getting into fights regularly. We have a lot of stress on our plates right now. Hes exhausted and I am too. He works nights and I am a SAHM with a 3 yr old and a 2yr old. I want to spend time with him and go out in the afternoon with the kids. (Besides that we dont get to go out unless its with the hubby). And everytime I try to get him to get up a little early he complains how tired he is and that he doesnt want to do anything, so the kids and I are stuck in the house! UGGH! I am with the kids 24/7 and even when he has days off (which are becoming very rare) I still have to do what I do when hes not here. I do complain and nag at him, i dont mean to, but it happens. And he will yell at me all the time saying i dont do anything and that he bends over backwards for me!! I dont see where that is coming from.. especially since hes not taking me anywhere that I dont need to go to. - should i just walk away?

Answer Question

Asked by d3vilbunny at 2:05 PM on Jul. 31, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • You walking away is a choice you need to make. Sounds like you have one vehicle and you are stuck inside all day with the kids. Not that you resent being a SAHM, you just resent when he says you don't do anything when you know you do.

    You need to weigh your options on leaving him or sticking it out.

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 2:08 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • if you don't have a car then you would literally be "walking away". LOL Your life doesn't sound bad enough to leave. You just sound lonely. Maybe you could make friends with neighbors who drive or have family members come get you and get out. Personally I used to take the kids on bus rides to the park. Not all men want the touchy feely family gathering bonding time. Accept him and the relationship as it is and adapt. it's easier than leaving.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • The honest are not good at knowing what's really best for them. spending time with the family is crucial and a much needed part of being a parent but you cannot force him to do the things that you want him to do. You have to make him feel as if it was his idea to have family time together. By doing that, begin spending time outside the house with the kids. Go for a walk, take pictures and make the time with the kids exciting and fun. Once your dh realizes all the fun he's missing, he'll begin to come around. But most importantly, stop nagging the man...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 2:20 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • I so felt just like you when my hubby was working nights. He was tired all the time, and he's not a great person tired. When he had days off it was like he really didn't have any off because he'd still be asleep. One thing it sounds like is you need some time to yourself, but you feel like you can't because he never wants to go anywhere. Make sure to take some time to yourself everyday. Even if it's just 15 minutes reading a magazine while the kids are in another room. Can you walk to anywhere? Oh sometimes I was luckyer getting him to go places on his day off if I caught him getting home.

    Answer by candycane337 at 2:23 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • Its a very large neighborhood.. not much around to walk to. I usually just take the kids to the park and run around with them. Im just tired of seeing the same old. Im 24 yrs old and im living like im elderly (no offense to the elderly). Last time we had alone was in april. He has never had the kids alone by himself for more than a day! I see them everyday i bathe them, feed them, play with them..etc..I would assume that on his days off he would assist me with that. I understand he is the one working and making the money.. But I dont ever see that money, I have no control of what he buys. He just bought $60 worth of cigarettes! All I see are the groceries.. which I have to cook and prepare.. I just want a little help, I make sure his uniforms are done so he can go to work and everything for work is in the right it sooo much to ask for him to help me give the kids a bath on his day off?

    Answer by d3vilbunny at 2:24 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.