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Is this a RED FLAG???

I have been seeing this guy now for about 2 months and we do go out a lot on dates, movies and things like that. I dont expect him to pay everytime we go and neither does he, and I am OK with that. Problem is, when its my time to pay for stuff, he wants me to hand over the money, or credit card to him, so that it looks like he is the one paying for it and not me. This bothers me a lot. I have asked him why he does this and he says its embarrassing for him and it makes him feel less of a man to allow me pay for the date. And he doesnt want people to think less of him either.

Is this grounds to break things off? It has been bothering me a lot lately.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:18 PM on Jul. 31, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (20)
  • Um sounds kinda weird to me, if he doesn't mind you paying then he shouldn't mind being seen with you paying. Maybe he is a control freak or maybe it has something to do with how he was raised. Who knows but if it makes you uncomfortable then you might want to say good bye to him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:20 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • If it bothers you, YES. I personally would tell him that *I* think less of him if he's that insecure in his manhood. He needs to worry more about what YOU think than anyone else.

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:20 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • If it bothers him for others to know you are the one paying then he needs to pay every time.

    Answer by Nesa_Z at 4:21 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • then let him pay for the meals and movies

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:23 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • he seems to think more of what strangers think then the woman sitting in front of him

    Answer by boredmom44 at 4:23 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • if it's something that bothers you a lot then leave. you are not obligated. I don't think that it is grounds to leave, personally. My fiance tried to be the one to pay 4 everything and I'm just NOT that kind of girl, at first he didn't want to it to be seen that I was paying but I told him that he can get over himself, and he did, and now we both pay and it's fine.

    Answer by gottalovemal at 4:25 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • RED FLAG!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:27 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • I agree with Gottalovemal on this one. You just have to decide what are the dealbreakers for you in this relationship.

    Answer by Melindakc at 4:28 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • Whether it wouldn't bother us or not isn't the issue. If it bothers you, seriously sit down and talk to him about it. I hand my fiance the card or cash just because I don't want to do the tip and all that - he can do it but neither one of us mind if it's my card that we're using. If he's insecure about that, what else is he insecure about?

    Answer by TheJBug at 4:32 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • I would tell him to hit that it's just not working out and if he askes why tell him straight up that you have an issue with handing him or anyone else for that matter a CC or $$ so it makes them look good. Ask him why it matters so much that he has to ALWAYS LOOK GOOD. It's not all about him, all the time.

    Answer by raemommy at 4:32 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

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