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what to do with my 6yo...HELP!!!

my youngest daughter is six...recently we found out from my oldest that she got mad at a neighbor kid and put her hand on the girls throat and pushed her...my husband wants her to have no contact with that kid because the neighborhood kid also hits our daughter...they are just a bad pair... but i keep trying to tell him its impossible to seperate them..we cant control the neighbors kid...then this morning my daughter got mad at her sister (whose 11) and scratched her, bad enough to draw blood...Im at a loss! ive done grounding, time outs, explaining to her, and we are a non-spank family...im very lost on how to get the point across that you dont put your hands on another person no matter what...i understand that in both instances the neighbor kid and her sister were taunting her....but how do i teach her and get her to understand how to walk away...

 
blueeyedgrl2377

Asked by blueeyedgrl2377 at 4:39 PM on Jul. 31, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 7 (160 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I have a child very similar. Its a simple answer, but not a simple solution. She has a nasty temper and anger issues. She obviously snaps very quickly and seems to be provoked by taunting and bullying. No child likes to be bullied and it can usually bring out the worst very quickly. My son is 7 and is teased a lot by his sisters. He gets very angry and I see his face go red and he literally goes ballistic when he gets pushed over the edge and hes very likely to hurt others. He does this because he doesnt adequately process his thoughts and feelings as they come. He waits until his emotions have built up and built up and then he snaps. Its likely she hurts because she is wanting to make the other person pay for taunting her. The best way to combat this is DAILY sit down with her and talk about the day. She needs to express everything shes feeling. Get those thoughts and emotions OUT of her by her using her words. Do it everyday
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 5:42 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • Have you sat her down and asked her what is bothering her? She might not be able to find the right words for what she is feeling. I got some good advice when I was having difficulty with my daughter (who is 5)...I was told that when you start to see that she is feeling angry or frustrated act it out. You WILL feel like an idiot at first, but it really does work. If you see that she is getting mad at her sister...stomp your foot and huff and puff and say something like, "Oooo...you get so ANGRY when she does such-a-such." The first time I did this my daughter looked at me like I had 10 heads and then a look of recognition came across her face. When she calmed down, I took her aside and talked to her what happened. I told her it was okay to feel the way she was feeling, but it isn't okay to act in such-a-such way.

    As her what she thinks she can do instead of acting out. If she is having a hard time come up with ideas (cont.)
    LaceyAM

    Answer by LaceyAM at 4:50 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • If they are taunting her and she is defending herself then why get mad at your daughter? Why not get irritated at the older one for starting crap?
    lilbit022009

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 4:52 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • then help her. Say what about if you...go sit somewhere quietly and look at a book until you are calm enough to come and talk about it? Or what if you go and draw a picture of how you are feeling...or however you feel she should handle it. There might be some underlying issues that she doesn't know how to verbalize. Anyway, I hope that this helps!! Good luck.
    LaceyAM

    Answer by LaceyAM at 4:53 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • Tell her it is not nice to hit and a few spankins won't hurt.
    madelyn5

    Answer by madelyn5 at 6:50 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

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