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Does anyone have any advice on retention? We are considering holding my five year old back in kindergarden because of some speech and language and other issues. I have heard both negative and positive sides. i would like some more opinions though!

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Asked by quest0567 at 5:39 PM on Jul. 31, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (8)
  • If you are going to do it kindergarten is a good year to do it. I had my son stay back in the 4th grade and its the best thing I ever did the whole next year he was getting awesome grades.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 5:43 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • I held my son back, he's mildly autistic. I hated doing it but I am glad I did. He is a summer baby and summer boys tend to be less developed socially than boys born in January etc. He had a year to really "get" what he needed to in class and truly enjoyed it. He has become a better reader, listener and his coloring is awesome. What a difference a year made!

    If you are wondering if this will harm your LO, it won't. Think of it as an extra year of daycare you don't have to pay for and at least you know he/she is learning something. It won't seem foreign to him/her since he/she knows the classrooms. It's better to adjust them that way then to throw them into 1st grade and he/she not be prepared.

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 5:45 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • How is s/he doing academically & socially? If your child is comprehending the curriculum & has bonded with friends in his/her grade, then I would probabaly go ahead & promote the child to the next grade.

    My boys all have speech delays, but are very smart kids. Allbeit, I homeschool them... but if I held them back academically or made them socialize mainly with children younger than them just based on their speech delays & problems with oral communication, they'd be behind instead of ontrack (& ahead in some areas) in their studies.


    Answer by Laura1229 at 5:48 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • My daughter will be six when she starts kindergarten because her birthday is late by 2 weeks. That extra year of preschool has done wonders for her. And I am sure an extra year of kindergarten would be even better. I think it would be a great help to your child and certainly couldn't hurt. I really can't find a negative in this situation.

    I think sometimes we apply to much importance to friends and socializing. I think what is important is that your child is able to communicate and feel comfortable doing so. Being 5 years old, your child will be with his or her age group. I would also speak with the school and find out what the pros and cons are. I am sure they have encountered this many times and would give you their honest opinion. But in the end, it is a decision that you have to be comfortable with. You know your child better than anyone else.

    Answer by CrazyForHer at 6:03 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • I would be more inclined to do it now instead of later. But like someone said. Only you know your dd the best.
    Good luck with whichever decision you make!

    Answer by Melindakc at 7:11 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • We had friends who didn't hold their daughter back even though the school recommended it, and she had trouble all through school. Another acquaintance agreed to have their son held back, I never heard the outcome, but I remember their telling how the teacher handled it. She told the class that she would like one or two children to stay in kindergarten another year to help the new children. Of course all the children volunteered, and she picked the little boy who needed to be held back.

    Answer by Bmat at 7:13 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • I think I should of held my son back in Kindergarten when he was 5; he didn't adjust well and had sppech problems. At the time I didn't realize I could. But, they put him in speech therapy for half a year, until he was almost 6. He also had some therapy the year before. He was not ready for the emotional aspect of school until his 6th birthday, but because the school offered speech therapy, it didn't hold him back. He just finished 1st grade with an overall grade of 97%. So everything came out great in the end. He only needed a few months to adjust to a stricter (no nap) schedule.

    Answer by lizlaughlove at 12:05 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • I believe holding your child back would be a positive thing. If a child is struggling, it is only going to make it more likely they will fall behind and that can effect them not only academically, but also emotionally and socially. That extra year can help them mature and grow more confident in their school work. Especially if they have any special needs like speech/language etc.... I agree that speech delay alone would not necessarily be a reason to hold him back, but if language and other issues are there as well and your son is obviously struggling...then it is worth considering. I think it is becoming much more accepted because so many people are seeing the benefits.

    Answer by mommafox33 at 12:06 AM on Aug. 3, 2009

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