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What are the chances the judge will allow ex to move out of state with the kids?

My SK's kids live 6 hrs away. BM took them 3 yrs ago when she and my SO split to go live with her parents. At the time of the split, my SO did not have a job so he let her take the kids because he felt he could not support them by himself (dumb move, I know). For the past 2 1/2 years, SO has been working and makes great money. We own a home and are getting married in the next few months. We've been together a little over 2 yrs. BM met a military guy a few months ago and is getting married in Sept. She still lives with her parents, and still refuses to get a job to support herself. Her dad is retiring and her parents are moving to Alabama. Her soon to be hubby is going to IRAQ for 18 mths, is leaving as soon as they get married. She wants to move, not to be with hubby, but to keep living with her parents for free! Order says she can't move, but she wants to contest this. What are chances judge will let her take kids?


Asked by Anonymous at 6:50 PM on Jul. 31, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • The military will give her money to live so she'd live "for free" anyway so there is no need to move. She could live on base for free as well. If there is an order then she can't go against the order. Your SO has rights. Go to and click on KNOW THE LAWS then go to your state and see what it says about taking the children across state lines for that state.

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:45 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • Who knows? But you need to cut her some slack. When my husband deployed, I went home to be with my family. I needed that support system - especially since I was pregnant.

    Answer by allans_girl at 6:55 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • It depends on a lot of things, how often you guys see your step kids, would it cause the children stress, ect...
    I would get a lawyer fast.

    Answer by glittersteph at 6:55 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • Your question is rather immature, and I'll give you two examples of your immaturity:

    1. "She still lives with her parents, and still refuses to get a job to support herself."

    2. "She wants to move, not to be with hubby, but to keep living with her parents for free!"

    Exactly how do you know this? Making assumptions? You know nothing about this woman, and it's unfair for you to judge her so harshly. IF she is living off of her parent's generosity, it is HER business, and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. At least she's not on welfare. AND she has custody of the kids, meaning that the judge felt she was a suitable parent (seeing as your hubby didn't get the kids).

    I would be glad to answer your question, but you need to take a good look at yourself and figure out why you are so jealous of this woman.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:30 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • WHo she lives with is irrelevant. THe chances are slim to none that the judge would deny her being able to move.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:36 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • She's going to have to prove that moving will be both beneficial for the children AND will not adversely affect the parent-child relationship between your husband and his kids.

    If he's involved in their daily life (school, sports, etc) she's going to have a very difficult time moving away, especially if she's not able to go in prepared to show how SHE intends to foster the relationship between her kids and their father. She doesn't sound like she gives that much thought, so you'll probably not have to worry.

    That they're already 6 hours away makes it harder. If they allow her to move, you'll want to focus on her paying for flights and paying for the unaccompanied minor fees. You'll want to be specific about when flights are and into what airports, etc. They'll balance out his weekend time with more vacation time (more in summer, every spring break, etc.).

    Definitely get with a lawyer now, before she moves.

    Answer by Avarah at 1:14 AM on Aug. 1, 2009