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How hard is it for the father of the kids to get them through the court system?

We weren't married, he was abusive, CPS said there wasn't enough evidence for them to do anything, I stayed with him for years, I was mostly a stay at home mom and he set himself up as an outstanding member of the community while trying to limit my outside contact. What are my chances in court of keeping the kids and getting supervised visitation until he gets help?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:48 PM on Jul. 31, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • I have never had any personal encounter with this but I do know that courts are very against taking children away from their mothers. I have heard from a friend, who tried taking his daughter, that there are 7 different things that you can prove in order to get custody over a mother and in MI they require that you prove at least 4. I'm not really sure what all 7 are but a few are, 1) the mother cannot support the child, 2) the mother is doing something to harm the child, 3) the child is in danger, 4) the mother is "unfit", 5) drugs are a part of the mothers life...
    Basically, if you take care of your child then you have nothing to worry about. He will get visitation and it probably won't be supervised, solely because you don't have the proof that he was abusive... It sucks but at least you will get your baby for a majority of the time!
    Good luck and keep me updated on what happens!

    Answer by youngmommy21709 at 11:00 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • document every incident of abuse no matter how small it seems. Show a history. Work with the local domestic violence shelter to build a case to protect your children and yourself

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:09 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • I lost a child in a court battle. I will not go into detail but I had many of the same situations. He is rich, gives money to the community, and was very well known. He won, I lost. I later relinquished my rights to the child. He deserved better all around. It's not as hard as people think,

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

  • Im in the same boat as Anon11:13. (above) I too lost my children, the story is to long to go into but I was by far the better parent. He had a long history of domestic violence and drinking...but because he was influential in the community that out weighed my stay-at-home parenting. I however did not relinquish my rights...I fight as thou I am Sparten! I finally got my son back, still fighting for my daughter...I will not go away!

    Build your case not just against him but for yourself as well., document everything. Go to church. Collect influential people to testify for you. Get a job, house, stability for yourself (very important) and your children. Do not date or bring a significant other into the picture until after the divorce. Never over night guests - EVER! Show steady grades or improvement for the kids in school. read cafemom for ideas...write them down. Keep a daily journal. No drinking, etc.
    good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on Jul. 31, 2009

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