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i think this might be normal, but i still feel pretty awful for thinking it.

i had a 2nd trimester stillbirth with my first (and only) child, a boy.

we want a boy sooo bad.

we would love a girl, but we really want to get pregnant and have a boy next go around. i am one of 6 girls. there is one 3 yro nephew close by, but we would love to add another boy, everyone would love a girl of course, bykwim.

anyways, so one of my friends (had a dream/that she says are eerily accurate) that i told her i was pregnant and that it was a girl!

the first thought that popped in my head was: a girl?! oh man.


so whats the deal? i feel terrible that i would think that. i would never do anything, like get rid of my baby because of that or for any reason for that matter.

is it normal to get bummed? am i terrible??


Asked by Anonymous at 2:55 AM on Aug. 1, 2009 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • My DH and I always wanted a boy! That was all we ever talked about.... our little Micah!!!! How we would raise him, what we would do with him. I got pregnant, and we were very excited! We had our boy name picked out and at 14 wks we picked a girls name JUST IN CASE. So, a wk before my ultrasound the dr says "the baby's heartbeat is 133, it is a boy! I've never had a case where it would be a girl and I've been doing this for 20 years" so OF COURSE I get our hopes up (he is in basic at the time). EVERY SIGN they have out there said "BOY!" well, go into the ultrasound KNOWING it's a boy and she flips over before the tech and look at anything else and says "oh, it's a girl! CONGRATS!" I was like "WHAT!!!!!" and she showed me everything!!!! I was very disappointed but LOVE MY DAUGHTER TO DEATH! We just have to try next time for a boy! :) It is a normal reaction I think!!!
    BTW Sorry for your loss!!!!!

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 4:18 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • You'll get used to it either way. My hubby and I both wanted a boy sooo badly and about 4 days before my anatomy ultrasound I told myself that I was going to get what God made for me. And low and behold it was a girl. I was glad I prepped myself for it because I could enjoy the happiness instead of being bummed. My husband however had all his eggs in one basket and was devastated.

    Answer by momma_shuler at 3:02 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • oh my gosh, i totoally know what ya mean!! but I was the complete opposite, I wanted a girl! My whole pregnancy I thought i was having a girl, all the signs pointed to girl, I had dreams about my little girl, Then when I went into labour, I ended up having a c section, and when they pulled out the baby, the dr's said "CONGRADULATIONS ITS A BOY!!!" and i was like WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!! i remember feeling SUPER pissed!! and sooo not in a good was literally the worst feeling of my life. not that they said because it was a boy, but because i couldnt believe my first feelings toward my first child was that way. LUCKILY...about 5 seconds later they said "NO NOOO ITS A GIRL!!!" and i said ohhh thank god!! lol..but yaaa worst feeling ever!!!

    Answer by alexis_06 at 3:52 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • I know what your talking about. I wanted a girl so bad because there was only me and my sister growing up and we are super close. But i got a boy and i wouldnt trade him for the world. I love him with all my heart and youll be the same way. Its just hard when you have your mind set on what you want to have. I will want a girl even more next pregnancy because i already have a son. But even though i want a girl super bad i will be happy either way because i will still be able to have a beautiful baby. Dont worry about it its normal and dont feel bad about it. I think every mother and father goes through it.

    Answer by Shelii at 4:15 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • I think it's normal.
    I really wanted a girl - I had my mind set on it! My SO wanted a boy just as bad as I wanted a girl. At the ultrasound (2 seconds after she cut it on) She said "You have a boy!" lol..I was a little disappointed but was so happy to see his face when they said it was a boy. Now I couldn't imagine having anything but a boy. I would still love a girl next time.

    Answer by Maya09 at 7:54 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • I actually can't stand it when people pull " I don't care as long as it is healthy crap" it is okay to want your baby to a certain gender. I wanted the one I am pregnant with to be a boy and yeah I was little disappointed when we found out it is a girl. Don't beat yourself up over it. Once the baby is born you'll love it no matter what. Sorry about your loss.


    Answer by lilysmom2607 at 9:15 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • With both pregnancies, we wanted a boy (the first time because we wanted to have a boy first) and this time because the pregnancy was soooo different we really thought we were going to get our little boy and then could stop with kids. Needless to say we now have a beautiful 18mo old girl and another little girl on the way Aug 21st. We honestly couldn't be happier, yea a little disappointed at first... but completely happy because both are healthy

    Answer by Skye-Angel at 10:12 AM on Aug. 1, 2009