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what do I do, my husband doesn't like my kids going to my moms bc she smokes.

ok, everytime my mom ask if our 4 & 5 yr old can come for a couple of days my husband is ify bc she smokes. well now he just says no bc of the smoke. but.....when they come over she cleans her house, like deep cleans the carpet in furniture and etc. no it doesn't get it all out but it is better. she smokes outside and so on. but he hates them going over there. what do I do. I want them arouns my mom, and she wants to see them often. I'm in the middle, what can I say to my husband??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:04 AM on Aug. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Tell your husband too bad! She's their grandmother and it sounds like she compromises enough for them to have them over at their house. If he doesn't like it that's too bad!

    Answer by Imogine at 3:17 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • my mom is a smoker and Im not letting my baby over there once he is born, for sure. all of those chemicals and such seeping out of her thanks

    I got asthma from my mom being a smoker and I just have no care for it. If she cant get on some patches or gum by the time the baby is here, she simply will not be around because if I smell it, it literally gives me a head ache. I dont know why, but the smell is just so disgusting i get a knot in my stomach and a mild head ache. so I deff. dont wanna expose my baby to that. I think you should except that ur husband has his kids best interest at heart and theres nothing wrong with that. JMO

    Answer by Dom123123 at 3:19 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • oh and my mom smoked only outside too and cleaned the house, and it still did damage to me and my baby sister. maybe talking to ur mom may be a better route than making ur husband compromise on ur kids health.

    Plus if ur mom quits then she'll be healthy, ur husband wont have a problem with the kids seeing her, she'll live longer, and you all can be happy....But mayybe not, only u can know whats really right for u, y'know?

    Answer by Dom123123 at 3:23 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • Why doesn't grandma take them to the park each week, or the zoo some compromise. I can understand his point, and yours. Explain the concerns and see if she can find a solutions as well. Maybe she would agree to another mented while the grandkids are there or just keep it outside and out of sight. Or plan a special vacation and have her come. Grandmothers are great and if she is willing to be an involved one talk to everyone and see if there is a compromise somewere.

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 9:06 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • Oh please, your husband does not like your mom for some reason, if she is willing to go outside and not do it around the kids it is fine. I am tired of the people who are so politically correct, i doubt anyone will develop asthma from a house that isn't even smoked inside of!! We have gotten so over zealous about smoking, at least you KNOW when someone does that. My friends mother-in-law took vicodin while watching her baby, when they came she was passed out cold! Tell hubby to give it a rest!

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:13 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • If she cleans and is smoking outside while you have the kids there, I don't see a problem with you taking them over there. Your DH is being unreasonable or has another reason for not wanting to go that he is not tellng you. I like the PP idea of going to parks, zoos ect too. I don't see how your DH could have a problem with that. Or maybe she can take them to Cici's or to an ice cream parlor or Chuckie Cheese. I'm sure your kids would love that and there is no smoking in those places.

    Answer by SophiaofLight at 9:17 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

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