Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Baby Dammies oops. Baby Daddies

What to do if you have an excellent BD... meaning he does get the baby faithfully as he suppose to, but then he stops the child support and supports anther person.... I spoke with him about it and he knows where I stand.... I am not the agrumentive or confrontional type so I just mentioned it blandly twice and he doesnt want to discuss it. So, now Im going to file for the state to assist in child support. To me it doesnt matter if he is getting him as he should, it cost to take care of a child, and he LITERALLY Begged me for a child, literally.... In his culture - a son is a honor and this is his only son and will be because he cant have more children. So....

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:57 AM on Aug. 1, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (4)
  • Just file with the state like you plan. They'll garnish his wages. It's not cool when the financial responsibilities are dumped on only one parent, but for your son's sake, it's great that his dad isn't a douche otherwise.

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 11:00 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • You both need to realize that child support & visitation are two separate issues. Child support does not "buy" time with the child. There are some birth parents who pay their child support faithfully & miss visits with their kids (my ex DH is one of them) & there are some parents who visit their kids but are behind on child support. You cannot deny visits b/c he doesn't pay support.

    It really doesn't matter what he thinks about the situation. He helped bring this child into the world whether he wanted it or not is immaterial as well. It happened, & he has to help you support the child. Go to your state agency immediately. It can take a few weeks to a few months or longer to set up the accounts, depending on how cooperative he is. My ex DH was happy to go through the state but my skids BM has been dodging process servers for 2 years on this issue. Good luck!

    Answer by funnyface1204 at 12:07 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • Just because someone BEGS for a baby, doesnt mean you had to give into the begging. You put yourself into the position you are now in. Honoring someone's culteral is not a reason to have a baby....


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • You should have went through the state for child support to begin with. Why would you have a baby with someone because they begged you to? That is not a reason to have a child. Child support and visitation are 2 seperate things and you cannot deny visitiation because he is behind in support. You have no court order so he doesn't have to pay support if he doesn't want to and there is nothing you can do. Having things filed with the courts protects everyone involved, including the child. You also need to have custody established and filed with the courts or your ex can take the child for a visit and never return, he could flee the country and you will never see your child again. Get an attorney and get everything in writing and filed with the courts.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:19 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in General Parenting

Next question overall (Toddlers (1-2))
Heavy wetter?