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What do you think of bringing your own everything to a party?

I have been invited to several parties lately, birthday, baby shower, bridal shower etc... I have noticed that on most of them the host asks you to BYOB and bring a side dish or dessert and please let them know what you will bring! One of the Birthday parties wanted us to bring our own hamburger meat to barbeque! Now I know times are tough, and Byob has never bothered me, but I kind of think if you have a party for yourself you should at least make the food??? My husband and I have 2 parties a year and we blow it out, provide everything! What do you think?


Asked by kimigogo at 9:30 AM on Aug. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Level 37 (91,454 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • You know I thought about this some more, and I agree with Fayanne, only those part of planning the party should be expected to bring anything other than a gift, maybe a hostess gift. I can see when you decide to host a party (where you are not the guest of honor) asking a friend or two if they want to help you host the party....then they would contribute.....and their names would go on the invitations as cohosts. And again I agree with never give yourself a shower or birthday party. That is extremely poor manners.

    Answer by ohwrite at 4:34 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • thats a tough one...i think if its a little get together then yes ask people to bring something small....but if you are planning a full on bbq or party....then just give people an idea of what you will be serving...that way if people want something your not going to be serving they can bring what THEY want...otherwise they eat what you provide...

    Answer by blueeyedgrl2377 at 9:36 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • I think if it's a Birthday Party, Anniversary, anything where people usually bring a gift, they should not be asked to bring anything else!! It's just bad manners. If it's a casual BBQ......well, it can be an affordable way to get together if your bring your own would have had to buy food anyway. I HAVE NEVER DONE THIS though, if people offer to bring things I may accept, but generally I plan on making all of the food myself if I throw a party.

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:43 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • Goodness gracious oh my!I never heard of that.I am sorry but if you are going to have a party,I say they should supply everything.I think that is rude.I have always hosted parties and have big huge parties .When I have a party,it is a big one.I would also think can you imagine how do they feed their children if they are so cheap sorry that is just me.Cheap people.We have a enormous get together every year for Easter and everybody brings something but that is because there are 300 people and every family brings a dish and we rent a huge space at the park with a kitchen and everyone brings their barbeque we all share.That is different though it is pre arranged one year in advanced.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • wow.... must be a generational thing. If someone is planning a party to honor a special guest (birthday, baby or bridal shower) and you are not part of planning/arranging/hosting the party, you should NOT be expected to provide anything other than a gift. A casual get together, such as a BBQ, I would expect to bring/take something.
    Like I said, must be a newer generation thing.. cause I am also of the opinion that you don't throw a baby shower for yourself, either... and that seems to be the thing to do these days. IF you want to celebrate the birth of your own baby, don't call it a shower. 'Shower' = to "shower with gifts".. and gifts would be expected. And that takes me back to what I said first... if you are invited to a party to honor someone, you should be expected to take nothing but a gift or token of appreciation for the guest of honor.. (and maybe a host/hostess gift).

    Answer by Fayanne at 10:06 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • I heard of BYOB and maybe asked to bring dessert but no biggie. IMO I think it's rude to ask people to bring their own food to be cooked when they are hosting a party.


    Answer by Christine0813 at 11:22 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • Just so you know,I got an invite to a bachelor party today that asked if I would mind bringing all he appetizers!! I am the one who wrote the post, and I am speechless!

    Answer by kimigogo at 12:16 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • I think with the economy now, we need to re-think how we view parties and such. Now, if the person throwing the party has the cash to drop for feeding lots of people, then there is no reason to ask for food. But...rising prices/lack of work have forced a lot of people to cut back. If the only way to have a celebration is to ask for guests to bring a dish or meat to cook, I personally would have no problem.


    Answer by glittersteph at 1:13 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • we only ask they bring their own food if they have a special diet but other than that, we provide everything. I've been to them where someone wanted to share a special dessert or dish they made but they volunteered it. They were not expected to bring it. I think if someone asked for a Pot Luck gathering it might be acceptable but even with that, the host normally provides the meat/main course.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:55 PM on Aug. 1, 2009