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Why does my daughter get on my nerves so bad.....

This is awful but my DD will be 4 in Dec. and there are days that I don't feel like I even like her. Everything she does drives me crazy! Somedays I get on my computer to stay away from her and I feel so guilty! It is like she got obnoxious and hyper all at one time and she use to be so mellow and never cried. Now she has an attitude and when I am not with her 9I stay home with her), it is like I can breathe and I feel so much better! Please don't bash me! Is this normal?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:41 AM on Aug. 1, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (17)
  • Maybe u r having a difficult time transitioning with her because at the age 4 kids really grow their own personalities and independence. Maybe u should try doing things with her that you enjoy. Like do she ride a bike yet? go for a bike ride.

    Answer by kirsty_mcgrail at 10:44 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • *evil grin* wait until she's 6! Like the PP said, she's discovering her vocabulary, and independence. My 4 year old talks from the time she wakes up, to the time she goes to bed. With varying stages of whining, and fit throwing. Distraction, activities, and proper discipline when needed keep her in line, and from hanging off my last nerve. Your feelings are normal, but trying getting outside with her more often. I take my kids swimming a lot since it's summer, and by the time we get home, they're ready for dinner, and bed! Just wear her out! Is she going to start pre-school soon? When my daughter did, she mellowed out some. GL mama, it's just a stage, and soon she'll be a teenager with a whole new set of issues!

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 11:04 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • I have a son that drives me crazy. The problem seems to be that he is too much like me. Is this a possibility for you?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • yes this is normal. You need to spend "fun time" with her, stop everything and get to know her she is growing and changing, wants her independence.

    Answer by gammie at 11:10 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • Wait 'til she's 6 and learns passive-aggressive manipulation. Oh, that's fun.

    I feel ya, hon. Sometimes it's all you can do to stay sane, isn't it? I think it's worse for SAHMs because we get no break from it. Grin, bear it. Call them on every fake cry or nasty behavior. Don't let them think that bad behavior is ok, no matter what. Even if you have to calmly say, "you have every right to cry, but I have every right not to hear it. It makes me not want to be with you right now. Please go to your room for 15 minutes."

    Good luck, mamma. You're not alone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • It sounds like you need a break. I stay home with my son right now and sometimes I feel like I am at my wits end, then I get a little break - like last week I went over to a friend's house after he was in bed and left him home with his Daddy, I got to giggle and chat for a few hours - and I'll feel totally recharged and ready to deal again. Maybe you can have her stay with a grandparent for a weekend, or for a sleep over so you can catch your breath.

    It also sounds like she's got a lot more energy in her. Try taking her out to ride her bike, or anything that gets her moving around in a more positive way. Enroll her in gymnastics, or some sort of physical class at the local YMCA. Assess her diet and make sure she gets mostly healthy foods and isn't getting too much processed sugar.

    Finally, read "Your Spirited Child" and see if it helps.

    Hang in there and good luck!!!!

    Answer by beckcorc at 11:47 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • i have a two year old and there are times where she drives me crazy. There are days where she just doesnt listen and whines all day.

    Answer by amymartinez0214 at 11:47 AM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • All Mommies need a break sometimes! My son is 16 and I don't know how many times I have said to him, "I love you I will always love you no matter what, but right now I don't like how you are behaving". Separate the behavior from the child and tell her what you don't like about what she is doing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • Here's a twist - when she behaves like this, try to remember YOUR childhood and how your parents treated you. In all honesty, when behaviors in others trigger these type of emotional "drive me crazy" feelings, it's because something in our past is being triggered, something we may or may not be aware of. Try to go over events in your life that the emotions you are feeling when she "drives you crazy" remind you of - once you can figure out what memories of past events in your past that her behavior here and now is triggering, then you can start to get control over your responses and not let them control you. I suggest you look into reading "Parenting from the Inside Out" by Dan Siegel and Mary Hartzell. This book is really helping me understand myself better so I can be less reactive to my son's behaviors and separate my responses to him from the way I was raised. Good luck and just remember, you're not alone.

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 12:17 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • Please try not to ignore her, just take a deep breath and grin and bear it. Do you ever take her to a mothers day out? There are many churches that have one or two days a week at a nominal charge, so you could have some YOU time. I work full time and have a 4 year old, I can appreciate the obnoxious comment! I have found that I will tell him we are going to play for X number of hours then you are going to watch cartoons for an hour. Hang in there, kindergarten is around the corner LOL!

    Answer by kimigogo at 1:40 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

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