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I am so afraid- Please advise! I had a tubal ligation 6 months ago when I had my baby. DH will NOT wear a condom! What can I do?

I DO NOT want more kids. I know a tubal is not 100% because my mom got pregnant after hers! I can't use BC bacause I don't tolerate it well; the simplest solution (to me) is to continue using condoms. We've used them since we married 4 years ago with no problems...what is the big deal! I can't believe it but we are really arguing about this. Don't tell me I'm being silly either, because I'm not...how can I convince him? I'm so stressed out my hair is falling out and I actually cry when he wants to have sex. I never wanted kids in the first place. I love my DD but I definitely don't want another...what can I do?

And this IS NOT a TROLL question. I asked this a couple of days ago and someone reported me and had it removed. Seriously, if you don't like the question, please just move on.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:00 PM on Aug. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I thought a tubal was kind of 100%. Yes i have heard about he tubes growing together again after a few years and pregnancies happening, but very rarely. I believe that you are as covered as you can be once you apt for surgery. Why make him wear a condom when you can enjoy the sex with out the worry. My advise stop stressing out, if you are still nervous talk to the doctor that performed it see if you can get some reassurance. But seriously stressing over nothing
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:20 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • I would recommend you using a female condum.
    suzyb1980

    Answer by suzyb1980 at 2:21 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • I got a tubal after my 3rd son was born. He is my last. I don't use condoms with my hubby. No point, I'm fixed. That was the whole reason to go through with the surgery.
    Did you guys talk about continuing to use condoms after your tubal? Or did he think you guys could stop using them?
    glittersteph

    Answer by glittersteph at 2:23 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • Get a book and learn about how to take your temperature every morning to plot on a graph to figure out when you are fertile. Start doing it. I found it really makes you feel empowered to know what your body is doing. When you think you might be fertile you have some choices. You could refuse sex. You could ask him to use a condom. You could use foam.

    Read about tubal ligations and the change of pregnancy. The longer the time has gone by the less remote the chance is you could get pregnant.
    GailllAZ

    Answer by GailllAZ at 2:34 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • they are a lot different now than they were years ago so I'm guessing they do it right now and you are fine. I had a tubal and never had more children after that.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:01 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • Use a spermicidal insert; they're just as effective as condoms.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 3:32 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • You could get an IUD also. I can understand why he is frustrated with this though. He should repect your fears. I did read that there are some new male contraceptives coming out soon, I dont know what they are but that might be something worth finding out about. Would you feel better if he got fixed too?
    stickyfingers

    Answer by stickyfingers at 3:50 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • I also had a tubal ligation after my 3rd son.....talk to your doctor to ease your fears....it's extremely rare for someone to get pregnant after their tubes are tied. Ask what type of procedure they used, there are a couple of ways to do it, and how effective the procedure is. The whole point kind of is not to have to worry about it any more........
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 4:37 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • Well, I don't think you are overreacting. My friend got pregnant a few months after having a tubal. And it was right in the uterus where it should be, so, a completely viable pregnancy. I had a tubal done after my last ,and still requested that my DH get a vastectomy as well. I have "amazing" healing power on my insides ( trust me, I've been told by some of the best surgeons that it was miraculous), so I was sure I would be one of the few to have my tubes grow back together. I can completely understand where you are coming from. Will he gat a vasectomy?
    Gandeluv

    Answer by Gandeluv at 5:50 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • oops, "get" not "gat"
    Gandeluv

    Answer by Gandeluv at 5:50 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

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