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Does it make you nervous to go places with your kids?

My DD will be 4 in November and she use to be so good about going and sitting still and listening. Now, she wants to get up, get an attitude in public and I get nervous and sometimes don't even go places because i don't want to deal with it. And especially if we go with my in-laws, I guess I think they will think she acts up because of my parenting!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:33 PM on Aug. 1, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • Yes. I have an obstinate 3 yr old.She doesnt listen for nothing and she really gets bad in public. I try to get her a babysitter if i can.
    hypersquirrel

    Answer by hypersquirrel at 4:42 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • Nope.

    My daughter is well behaved, but she's still a kid. When she does act out I lightly pinch the inside of her leg and warn her about her behavior and that does the trick most of the time.
    BaisMom

    Answer by BaisMom at 4:43 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • Not anymore. I make sure he understands what the expectations of his behavior are (we'll even practice before we go out), what will happen if he chooses to misbehave (instant trip home and loss of future outings), and sometimes...SOMETIMES...I'll get him a surprise for good behavior. It's not an expectation because he never knows when...but I figure that if kids will gamble on getting their way if parents are inconsistent about discipline, then to my thinking, he'll gamble on getting something for good behavior...even if he doesn't win every time...there's always next time. So his behavior has much improved - and let me tell you - he was banned coming to places with me for a month before he caught on.
    JPsMommy605

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 4:46 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • DD4 is a piece of cake, its DS 2 that is an animal! I can go or do anything with my daughter, but as soon as you add my son to the mix its mayhem. He has this knack for ruining every single outing in some way. I hate this stage!
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 4:48 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • If you don't take her out in public, she will not learn how to behave in public.

    Before you leave the house, expain very clearly your expectations, along with any punishments for bad behavior (such as no TV for a day) / rewards for good behavior (such as an extra book before bed).

    Don't expect a perfect child, misbehaving is part of the learning process.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 4:52 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • My two have been acting out a bit in public, I think for my son its more of an energy overload thing cause hes been cooped up in the house due to weather lately but my daughter its more of a "how far can i push mom before she loses it" thing and I discovered recently that ignoring her completely when she starts trying to cause trouble has helped and I started telling my son today that i couldnt hear him when he whined or yelled and I reminded him every time he started to sound whiny and it helped him quit.
    elananme

    Answer by elananme at 5:09 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • There have definitely been times when that is the case. My oldest was horrible in public for the longest time.
    I always tried to let her know the expectations and have specific consequences for specific behaviors etc. It took a LONG time to work, but she's typically a lot better now that she's 5.
    I knew that I had to take her places though or she would never learn how to behave.
    Sadly, now the little one is almost 2 and just beginning, but she's nothing compared to how her sister was. Who knows what the new baby will be like!
    WillDoDa

    Answer by WillDoDa at 5:59 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • My three year old has a hard time sitting still and being quiet in church. We are teaching her to be still and quiet, but it is a learning process and she is still young. While I am not afraid to take her there, I sometimes wish she would hurry up and learn to behave.... she embarasses me sometimes!
    catholicmamamia

    Answer by catholicmamamia at 6:16 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • tell her if she acts out, then she won't go anywhere with you. If she acts out in the car on the way there tell her if she doesn't stop it then you will take her home and everyone else can go. One will have to stay behind with her, but I am sure she will be bored at home with nothing really to do. I read this in a book called "The 25 Laws of Parenting: 25 Laws to help keep your kids on track, out of trouble, and (pretty much) under control" by Dr. Ruth Peters. This book helped me lots; there is lots of helpful advice, and a chapter (law) dedicated to things like this. I have a 3 yr. old who is obnoxious and doesn't listen either. His younger brother is starting to copy. Now both are becoming better. Hope this helps :)
    pruden5956

    Answer by pruden5956 at 7:16 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • Yes! My dd is 13 months old, and she's at the age where she gets frustrated easily because she can't communicate with words. To reduce the possibility of a public meltdown, I do the following:

    1. Make sure she is well-rested, fed and changed before leaving the house.
    2. Carry her in a Baby Bjorn (or a stroller)
    3. Make my errand as quick as possible (when possible).

    I also try to plan a small snack while we're out. I carry a small container of Cheerios with us.
    Fallaya

    Answer by Fallaya at 11:48 AM on Aug. 2, 2009

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