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Why do we expect our kids to be perfect?

Am I the only one? She was a good baby and rarely cried and was good as a toodler never throwing tantrums and listened. Now that she is close to 4, it is a different story. She is more whiny, hyper, obnoxious and just gets on your nerves. It is like I can't deal with it or her as good as I use to? I feel so bad.........

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:36 PM on Aug. 1, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • Change your expectations. Learn to be flexible and adaptable to whatever life, or your DD, throws at you. Learn to be curious about who she is so that you can learn about her rather than expecting her to be who you want her to be. Learn to love yourself more so that you can give your own love to others better. Just some thoughts that might help you find a way of looking at it differently.

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 4:41 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • Yeah my DD was a calm baby, easy going toddler. Now she's a 2 year old DIVA. That's the only way to describe her right now LOL I don't expect her to be perfect but I do expect her to take on what I'm teaching her in good time.

    Answer by BaisMom at 4:41 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • I never expected my child to be perfect. I have high expectations, though.

    Answer by rkoloms at 4:48 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • I agree with rkoloms (more than just in this question)

    Kids are kids, and I played with my daughter to allow her a childhood. But like rkoloms, I am an achieved woman too (but with plenty of heartbreak and pain alongside). I live through my daughter as though she is me, so I teach her all tool of success I know. As much as I have invested into her (and worked throughout my life), if she screws up royally (a life mistake), she's down the river with me.

    Call me what you want, but I feel that I'm pretty much like Lucius Malfoy stepping over Draco to get to Harry Potter.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:06 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • I don't expect perfection. My son is a human and like me will have bad days. I do expect him to be responsible for his own behavior. If he has a tantrum he will have to live with the consequence. Four is a tough age my son was great and nearly perfect until 4. He was a little monster for a couple months testing new boundaries and once he realized the consequences for his actions were not worth it he mellowed out. You kind of get what you expect from your children. We set the bar high our son is a smart kid and very well behaved. We have been called mean by our siblings but we are also the first people they run to when their kids are out of control. My son is a happy and goofy kid who has boundaries and knows what is expected of him. He is also smart enough to know he has a whole lot more fun when he listens and behaves than when he doesn't.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:07 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • my child has always been a handful. so i expect the big personality.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 5:53 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • i think we all want our kids to be perfect or close.i expect high expectations from my kids.but as we know they are all breaks our hearts when our kid wasnt invited to the birthday party.or you get the "nobody wants to play with me"or even i didnt do well on my test.we all want our kids to achieve.and boy does it break our hearts when they dont.but we go on and do the best we can cause thats all we can do.but i do expect the long as they try there hardest.

    Answer by nana77500 at 7:27 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • I don't expect them to be perfect. I expect them to be monsters. That way, when they are monsters I'm not surprised....and when we have a good day I'm pleasantly surprised!

    Expect the worst then you're never disappointed!


    Answer by Anonymous at 7:34 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

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