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Question about peoples thoughts on marriage and why it isn't important what vows you take?

I have been reading a lot of peoples answers to some of the ladies questions. I don't understand why a lot of people are so quick to give the advice to divorce. Each and every person who is married or getting married. What were the meaning of the words you said on your wedding day if you are going to so quickly divorce. It makes no sense. Marrying someone to me is getting through the tough times, working on issues in the marriage and helping one another, not walking away when someone makes a mistake or has a problem. I just want to know what people think marriage is and if the vows you said were important to you at all?

 
suzyb1980

Asked by suzyb1980 at 5:51 PM on Aug. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (13 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I believe there are times in a marriage when divorce is okay...like abuse and cheating (there may be some other exemptions I can't think of now). Otherwise I do think you should try to make the marriage work...for better or worst!
    Brickhouse95

    Answer by Brickhouse95 at 6:22 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • I totally agree!!! Someone close to me just got a divorce and let me tell u there r kids involved and it is just such a disappointed! they r both seeing other people and one happens to be as close to home it really is just a big mess. I think they gave up it is ashame
    melk819

    Answer by melk819 at 5:55 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • I believe that marriage takes the committment of two people. When one party no longer is committed, then there is nothing the second party can do to change the situation. Ways a person demonstrates they are no longer committed to the person includes abuse, adultery, and addiction. If my husband commits any of those acts, he has demonstrated to me that I no longer am a person to him, that something or someone else is more important, and it is better for both me and the children in our relationship for us to terminate the relationship.

    I think that to stay in a marriage no matter what can be just as damaging as divorce. I have seen women stay in abusive relationships to have their children either become abusers themselves or becomes victims, too. Same with men.

    I dont' think anyone truly know what goes on in a marriage unless they are in it. No one enters into marriage thinking "I hope it'll end in divorce."
    Busimommi

    Answer by Busimommi at 6:00 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • whatever
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:05 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • I am not saying that if you get married you should stay married. I understand busi and bmat. I do understand those reasons. But divorcing someone because they have a disease like drug addiction instead of getting them help or seperating for the time being, abuse I totally agree I would not stand for that, and if your husband LITERALLY cheated on you yes I understand people getting divorce. But when a women catches her DH watching nudity online or porn. Or chatting with a women sexually in a game chat room. And people are giving advice to divorce. OK option cancel the internet. ETc. I just think that a lot of people get married because they got pregnant, being young, impulsively marrying someone, and then the people who went through the marriage because they didn't have curouge to say no. I just don't think that people should jump to giving the advice of divorce. There are so many options out there to do before divorce.
    suzyb1980

    Answer by suzyb1980 at 6:10 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • I knew going into my marriage that there might be some tough times ahead of me. And I hit my first one today. By far I asked a question and got a lot of answers to divorce my DH. I thought it was wrong. I asked for advice on how I could make things better because I started an argument etc etc was said, but divorce was the big key answer to a lot of peoples questions. I am not judging anyone who feels that it is a desperate need to divorce. I am just curious to what marriage meant to people and what their vows meant to them. Because I don't understand why you would say FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE and not stick with what you said. If you are not able to handle a bad challenge in a marriage then maybe you shouldn't be getting married. So yes I think if you aren't going to be there to guide and help your dh/dw then don't get married. That is why the divorce rate is so damn high.
    suzyb1980

    Answer by suzyb1980 at 6:14 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • I don't condone divorce, however, when a woman is abused in any manner I think she should leave and do what is best for herself and her children. If a man is cheating that is a tough call, and their business to some degree, however you have to think of your health in this day and age and what diseases could be contracted. And abuse never goes away, only gets worse....been there and done that and thankfully had no children. But I do understand what you are saying. People should take their vows seriously, then there wouldn't be so much divorce.
    MissHeidi0304

    Answer by MissHeidi0304 at 6:21 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • Thank you. And again understand that I am not bashing women who do get divorced for their own reasons. I just had a problem with that being the biggest thing of advice. Abusers definetely. Cheating to each there own because it is a sin to some people. And drug abusers who refuse to get help or continue getting help yes. But other than that it should be easy to make things work in your marriage. I mean that is my point may not be others. Again I am not judging anyone for their beliefs. I want the advice to be good advice like maybe giving women numbers who are scared of getting abused, and numbers or addresses for counselors in marriage and etc. Instead oh I'd leave get a divorce.... NOWNOWNOW... thanks again.
    suzyb1980

    Answer by suzyb1980 at 6:29 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • Divorce is taken so lightly because most people take marriage so lightly. Til death do us part is over looked. Love honor and cherish are just filler words to take up time in the ceremony.




    I think it should be harder in this country to get married. Like raise the age to 21, maybe make you see a counselor or pastor first.


     


    Kind of like they offer Lamaze for expecting women., they should offer relationship workshops for engaged couples, make them take those before they can get their marriage license.

    Gealach

    Answer by Gealach at 6:32 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

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