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I have no idea what to do. I was at my sister's today for a low-key birthday. My husband was working and couldn't make it. He got out early so my brother-in-law called him and asked him to come by and have some beers. My husband started screaming at him. He told him "Hell f'ing no!" " I f'ing worked all week...Go f yourself and hung up on him. Really? I couldn't believe it! When I called him, he started screaming at me! I was so embarassed I didn't even know what to say but to apologize. I'm concerned this will hurt things with my family. I just can't believe he acted this way! I sated about a half hour more and politely excused myself and came home. I really don't want to confront my husband and start a fight but I'm absolutely beside myself!! Any suggestions?

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:45 PM on Aug. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • just let it go, not much to say. He said enough

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:49 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • Wow what the hell is wrong with him? Did you guys have a fight before your birthday? Has he been like this all week?

    Answer by katsogrimey at 7:49 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • Maybe he had a bad day at work. Let him simmer down.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:50 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • First I would tell him that no matter what his problem is please do not speak to my family or me that way. Then ask him what his problem is.

    Answer by TeriMelisa at 7:50 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • I would let him calm down a bit and then talk to him about it. Make it clear that speaking to your family in such a way (or you) is unacceptable. What you do about it this time can help set the tone for the future. He needs to know that this was NOT okay. If he thinks he can get away with it he will do it again.

    And that if something is wrong then he needs to find a different way to deal with it.

    Answer by TessLouise at 7:53 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • Does he always have such a short fuse?

    Answer by Nathskitten at 7:56 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • ha, somethings up. just don't talk to him until he comes to you.

    Answer by staciandababy at 7:57 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • I hope that he is OK. It sounds as though he reached his limit of stress somehow. Find out what is wrong. Then he also needs to learn to control his language, and I'd say he owes your BIL an apology. Surely he knew where you'd be and wasn't taken by surprise.

    Answer by Bmat at 7:57 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • you have to talk to him, but maybe give it a day or so til he's calmed down. for me, when myself or my husband blows a fuse and goes off for no reason, we give the other person 1-2 days to chill out a bit then both of us can approach the subject with a clear head and not already upset about whatever it was b/c we both had a chance to calm down. if there isn't an underlying issue and he's just an ass, well i don't know that i'd put up with that for life.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 8:02 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

  • I would tell him that if he EVER spoke to any member of my family like that again, that the next time he comes home, divorce papers will be waiting.....OK, maybe that's a bit much, but don't put up with that again. He is going to hurt the whole inner threads of your entire family's relationship. Imagine what Christmas and Thanksgiving will be like if he doesn't go make amends now...He needs to be a real MAN and step up to the plate and say "I'm Sorry" and the sooner the better.
    A little silent treatment on your part after that wouldn't hurt either. Let him know with your body language as well as your voice that that is not acceptable if he wants to stay married.....Good Luck and God Bless

    Answer by lighthousemom3 at 8:11 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

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