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I am sick and tired of this CRAP-MIL

Year after year party after party its the same sh*t!My mother in law has 11 kids of which 7 think they should attend out parties.Calebs first birthday party we rented a party room space was very limited ,they brought 2 kids and understood.Calebs 2nd I had at a pizza place you pay per person I initially said they could not come but she called and said she would pay for them,fine what ever.Calebs 3rd bday again at a pizza place again she paid me.CARSON's 1st bday at a party room space is limited but not as bad as calebs 1st,this party rooms bigger holds 20.Well I put RSVP space is limited JUST on her card,everyone else I can count on.Its 6 days away,so we called.SHE HUNG UP on my husband (her son) because we asked how many because space is limited.NOW my husbands mad at me,Im tired of it Im going to have to quit inviting her.Its crazy tough because she is the only grandma left,mine dies before Caleb was born.PLEASE imput (below)

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Chrystal_A

Asked by Chrystal_A at 10:15 AM on Aug. 2, 2009 in Holidays

Level 4 (31 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • What do you want from this woman? She pays and wants to be in her grandchildren's lives. I don't blame your husband for being mad at you. If that's your only problem with her I think your way out of line and unappreciative. JMO

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 10:44 AM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • I think she should RSVP to the last party, but other than that, I don't think she was in the wrong at all. You make her feel guilty for wanting to attend her grandchildren's parties and also for having such a big family. I agree with PP on this one.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 10:48 AM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • While i agree with the PPs, I am also in a similar situation. It gets much easier as your children get older because at some point, they'd rather have their friends at parties than relatives. My husband is the youngest of 7 children, all of his siblings have 4-6 children except for us. We have 2. So there are nearly 40 cousins to invite to parties. And Dh's siblings ALL expected to be invited WITH ALL of their children, after all, we are invited to all of their children's parties. So the first few years of my son's life we just had HUGE parties at our home. Then we moved 400 miles away. Now that we are back and have a baby, i can't have 80 people over for a party, it's beyond ridiculous. My son is 8. He also doesn't need that many gifts. So now, he usually just invites a few friends over and we'll do something special. With my daughter who just turned 2, this year we had a little princess party, only inviting the ..cont..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • just be thankful she wants to be in ur childrens lives there is alot of kids that don't have grandmothers in there lives, but she should have rsvp for the party just like everyone else . GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • ..cont...only inviting the toddler girls in the family..well girls under 5. We dressed up and had a blast. You could do something similar for your son...like a little cowboy party or something. I know it's hard, but just get creative. I come from a big family, so I don't mind his big family, but sometimes the brithday parties get out of hand. I susally have to hire a cleaning service to come in after everyone leaves. But like I said above, as they age, it's much much easier...my son would rather have his friends. Also...please excuse any spelling mistakes I may have made, my typing is terrible, and I couldn't get spell check to work for some reason.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 AM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • The problem is guys my party room holds 20,Ive found 8 extra chairs and I have 30 guest,imo its not fair for her to bring half the party.
    Chrystal_A

    Answer by Chrystal_A at 11:10 AM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • I'm anon, :56 and :00. I totally see what you mean. i know it's hard. i guess my only suggestion is for the future...make sure when you plan, do it at a place that can hold everyone, unless you just do a friends or class mates party (in the future). I understand you saying it's not fair, that's how I felt too with my husband's family, but I just sucked it up and dealt with it until i found a different way to go about things. When space is limited, it makes things so hard.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 AM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • same anon here again (:56, :00 and:30)...one more thing I meant to add to what i just said above...when you do pick and choose, feelings are going to get hurt, which is why I just dealt with it....otherwise you risk looking like "the bad guy".

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 AM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • annon:each and every year Ive covered the expiencive of the party out of my pocket,i babysit well for this party I did not have any daycare kids (not my choise either)and we moved so money was super tight the only reason i chose this party room was because it was free.I can not wait until school lol.
    Chrystal_A

    Answer by Chrystal_A at 12:03 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

  • Anon here again... Ohhh, I'm sorry, I didn't even think about money. In that case, i'm not sure what to tell you. Honestly, since it's your husband's family, it should be his responsibility to deal with them so you aren't made out as the bad guy. If he won't, just do all you can & hope for the best. In a few years it'll all be behind you (school). I'm sorta having the same issue now, but with Dh's birthday. He's going to be 30 & we want to have a part for him (he's not expected to live into old age, he's sick). But we'd really just like to leave the kids out (and maybe not even ours, like have them there for dinner, and then have the sitter take them somewhere). My MIL says that it would be rude for our own children to make an appearance if we aren't inviting others kids. I say, we are paying for the party, it's their father, who is dying, wtf does it matter. Otherwise, we'd be catering for 100 instead of 50. Aren't MIL's fun?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 PM on Aug. 2, 2009

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